Just Sign and Drive- and pay. And pay. And pay.

I'm going to skip over the obvious snarkable material in these stupid commercials- the Prospective Driver Experiencing Orgasm at Thought of Driving a Volkswagen moment that shows up near the middle, featuring Prospective Driver with incredibly fake, stupid grin on his/her face as he/she cruises down the street in a new, shiny car (and, in one, adjusts the seat so the driver is practically laying down. Why? I don't even want to hazard a guess.) I'd rather focus on the whole "sign and drive" deception, and Volkswagen's habit of treating customers like sheep to be sheared, at best.

One customer after another looks at the gleaming cars in the showroom (someday, I'd like to pick out a car in a Showroom, instead of the Lot.) One customer after another says some version of "tough decision." One way-too-enthusiastic car dealer after another drops a rapid-fire chunk of information including the warranty, gas mileage, etc.- I am not sure what, because I'm too distracted by how nonsensical it is that the dealer is offering standard boilerplate instead of actual specs.

These commercials always end with the potential customer being astounded at the concept of "Sign and Drive." And I don't blame them- whenever I have purchased a car, I SIGNED the contract, and then I would DRIVE the car away. Why is this being sold as something new and revolutionary? It isn't stated outright, but I guess what we are being told here is that no money need be exchanged at the moment of purchase- "all you need is your signature."

To which I have to reply: Big. Fucking. Deal.

This is just another version of the "low lease payment" scam car dealerships have been pulling for years. "Check this out, you can lease this car for only $199 per month! Wow! What a great deal!" Ah, but check the small print- "$2999 due at signing." Yeah, great deal- instead of paying your lease over the course of four years, you've handed the dealership a year and a half worth of payments up front. I suppose that's a great deal for somebody- but it ain't the customer.

I strongly suspect that you are going to pay a very heavy price in exchange for the convenience of "sign and drive." Because you didn't have to write a check today, that monthly bite out of your wallet is going to be extra painful down the road. So you didn't have to come up with two grand before you hit the dealership- you'll pay that money out later, with interest and fees. No one is giving away cars "for just your signature," sorry.

Way to entice people who may be facing financial difficulties and melting bank accounts, Volkswagen. "Don't bring money, we know you're good for it- just sign here!" What they mean is, "Don't pay me now. Just be prepared to bend over later." Happy Holidays from Volkswagen.