1-800-WTF Was THAT??

Guy gives his wife/girlfriend/whatever a dozen roses for Valentine's Day. She instantly breaks down sobbing.

Wife: "I....I.....(gasp, sob).."

Confused husband/boyfriend: "Um...don't you like it?"

Wife: "I...I...(gasp, sob, tears rolling down face)...I am so happy! It makes me feel all (sob) warm and fuzzy inside!" And we see the WEIRDEST thing I've seen in a commercial for a long time- what looks like a powder puff from a cosmetics case except it's glowing and has eyes, a mouth and a nose, standing near the flowers. What the hell?

Husband continues to look confused. Join the club, buddy.

Wife: "I...LOVE IT!" And the commercial is over, except for the disembodied voice telling us to call 1-800-Flowers to order our own slobbery, overly-emotional Significant Other her own dozen roses which, judging from this commercial, may or may not come with a little glowing loofah.

Unless this is just Part I of a series of commercials featuring this couple (or is it a threesome?), I have to say that this spot completely stumps me. Why is this woman bawling throughout the ad- has any grown person really reacted to getting roses this way? Is she all choked up because she's actually allergic to the roses, or to the little glowing thing that only she can see? (Hey, maybe that is the problem- this woman has recently been released from an asylum, where she had been committed after being tortured for years by hallucinations featuring tiny flower pot-dwelling gremlins, and now she realizes that The Visions have returned. The problem with this theory is that the woman says "I love IT," which suggests to me that she's looking right past the flowers and at the animated cotton boll. And that she likes what she sees.)

Or maybe- just maybe- this commercial is the Lamest Trailer of All Time. I wish I were kidding, but we are told at the very end of the ad that 1-800 Flowers supplies "the official flowers of Valentine's Day- The Movie." God Help Us All.