Ok, One More

I thought I was done with these ads, but like the Smirnoff Vodka "I Was There" campaign last summer, they just keep coming and coming, begging to be snarked upon. I really hope this is the last, because I'm running out of ways to describe the product.

This one is even more nasty and vile than the three previous gag-worthy offerings from Kraft. Once again, we have a sneering little creep speaking directly into the camera, whining about an idiot parent who isn't satisfied dishing out cheap, trailer-trash food (well, it does have calories, so I guess it qualifies as food) to his offspring, but insists on "stealing" some of it, too.

For a change of pace, the "victim" this time is a boy, otherwise there's not much new to see here. As usual, we are shown a white family living in an upscale suburban mansion inexplicably eating junk which is a staple for minimum-wage workers, poor college students, and single moms. But here's an extra-nasty little twist- the kid tells us that he's been put in "time out" in the middle of the meal "for a minor dinner table infraction." Setting aside the all-too-common ploy of sticking advanced vocabulary words into the mouths of little kids (real original, Kraft,) how retrograde is the "kid punished by being sent away without his dinner" theme? What is this, 1960?

And not only is this kid being punished by being made to go hungry, but the rest of his family could clearly not give a damn. Dad is helping himself to the kid's mac 'n cheese, never mind that he has to repeatedly lean over the table while pretending to listen to his other offspring to do it. Daughter (who has apparently slipped into a preservatives-and-fat coma by the conclusion) pretends to converse with Dad without offering one word of protest for his vile behavior (if this is acceptable, I don't want to imagine what Exiled Boy's "minor dinner table infraction" was.)

The final scene is just tacked on, making no real sense for anyone who thinks about it for more than a fraction of a moment- the kid suddenly appears at the dinner table like Banquo's ghost, apparently visible only to Dad- "Are you finished?" Then he walks off without waiting for an answer from stunned dad. I'm sure the YouTube mouth-breathers find this hysterical, but seriously- that's the punchline? "You banished a growing boy from the dinner table and ate his food- are you done?"

Here's what would have been more amusing- if the kid had said "I'm asking my teacher to call Child Protective Services tomorrow. Because it was bad enough that you're such a cheapskate that you are willing to raise your family on this crud, but it's even worse when you use food deprivation as punishment." Hey, I bet even Daughter would have taken notice of that.