An Aggressive Answer to an Unasked Question

Get a load of these self-satisfied commercial stereotypes- here's the middle-aged man oddly proud of the fact that he swims "a mile a day, every day." Here's the rugged bicyclist (more about him later) who is apparently unaware that we have no idea how long he's been "exercising" (snigger, condescend- I'm sorry, but the bike does most of the work) and that he's "not halfway" yet. Here's the Proud Mommy who needs to keep her digestive tract in good shape because Daughter "keeps us on our toes." And here's another woman doing yoga (good lord, if I had a dime for every commercial featuring women doing yoga- is it really that popular?) who says she needs to take a prescription drug to stay "in balance."

Apparently sick of the standard "my doctor told me to" explanation, each of these dicks then stare belligerently at the camera and snarl "Because it works." Hey, back off, people. You want to pop yet ANOTHER pill instead of just MANAGING YOUR FREAKING DIET, that's your decision. Nobody's telling you not to.

I am, however, a little mystified as to what this pill is actually supposed to do for you that getting enough whole grains, fruit, veggies and water can't. I strongly suspect that the answer is "nothing"- so the woman doing yoga wasn't stopped from doing yoga before this latest abomination from our friends at Big Pharma hit the market; she was just annoyed at being "forced" to cut out the crap and eat decent, healthy foods. And if you ask her what was so damned horrible about eating a sensible, digestion-friendly diet, and why she's taking a pill instead, she'll skip over the first part of the question and simply answer "because it works." When the better answer is "Because I can."

Ok, back to that guy with the mountain bike- is it just me, or do bikers in commercials always seem to spend at least as much time CARRYING the damn thing as riding it? What is that- is it supposed to make them look more rugged and athletic? Well, I'll admit that the way I see most people use their bikes, carrying it around IS much better exercise than riding it.