And while we're at it, I'm getting kind of sick of tying my own shoes!

I actually kind of enjoy these low-budget medical equipment commercials which more or less beg elderly Americans to use their Medicare part D money (it's just sitting there, after all, dammit!) to buy home escalators, electronic pill dispensers, urinary catheters and scooters. They are all pretty much the same- "look, you need this device we make. Just call us- we'll do all the paperwork, we'll get the thing shipped right to your door, you won't be able to remember how you lived without it- just authorize us, grampa!"

In this one, Michael Steele and his mom are delighted to tell us how, thanks to this new digital blood sugar meter, people with diabetes no longer have to prick their fingers to draw blood. Watching this ad, it's kind of hard to believe that not all that long ago, people had no way of testing their blood sugar at home at all, and at-home testing was a major breakthrough providing a huge convenience. But just as cell phones which just allow you to have a conversation with anyone in the world from anywhere in the world are now seen as clunky antiques unless they also provide streaming video, instant score updates and step-by-step directions from the living room to the toilet, the old meters just don't cut it anymore. After all, you have to draw almost an entire gram of blood! OUCH!

Anyway, once we know what the product is- a big shiny screen featuring a font type which can be seen from space (but just in case, it yells your blood glucose level into the next county, you spoiled old fart) the ad degenerates into Call this Number and we'll have it in your Mailbox Tomorrow territory, etc. etc. etc. I don't know if it's worth buying, but I guess that doesn't really matter- the important thing is that our seniors have been reminded once again that there are people out there eager to cater to their every "need," and they are only a phone call away. Whether they want to rid themselves of the hassle of pricking their fingers, walking up stairs, or getting out of a bathtub, someone is out there, waiting to serve. Almost makes me look forward to getting old-but not quite.