UPS- It's not Logistics, just Pathetic

I ran through a few of these UPS ads to try to find just the right one to fit my current situation. Kind of fun to watch this company claim that it can get your package to it's destination Early Morning, no problem....or to China, no problem, "pretty standard stuff."

Delivering your package early in the morning is pretty standard stuff. So is delivering to China. However...

I ordered a purple Nick Markakis Orioles T-shirt from Football Fanatics ten days ago, in plenty of time to arrive at my parents house in Vermont for my niece's birthday party, which was this past Saturday. Except that the one-pound package was not delivered on the first attempt, on Friday, because of "Emergency Conditions Beyond UPS Control" (that's what it says on the website.)

Nor was it delivered on Monday ("Emergency Conditions Beyond UPS Control.") Nor was it delivered yesterday ("Emergency Conditions Beyond UPS Control.") Scheduled date for the next Failed But Don't Blame Us Delivery: Wednesday, February 9.

Now, the weather isn't that great in Vermont these days. Lots of snow, and my parents live on a dirt road. But these 80-year olds have been up and down that road and into the main town nearby every day since Friday- two 80-year olds driving a little Honda Accord up and down that dirt road, almost right past the UPS store. Know who else has been going up and down that dirt road into town every day since Friday (except Sunday?) The US Postal Service. Know who else? The drivers of the local school buses.

So here's an Emergency Condition Beyond UPS Control which seems to be effecting UPS exclusively. While everyone else and their little brown dog has no problem getting up and down the hill to my parents' house, UPS and their big brown truck can't seem to quite manage it. What do you call that- Logistics? How about Incompetence?

But it sure is heart-warming to know that while UPS may not be able to maneuver it's way up a dirt road in rural Vermont, it can get your package to China no problem. And it can deliver it Early Morning, if you like- as long as there are no Emergency Conditions Beyond UPS Control- like a dirt road, and snow, which don't seem to present obstacles for anyone EXCEPT UPS.

Later today, when my parents are getting their mail right on time and UPS is busy preparing another Emergency Conditions Beyond UPS Control message for me to check out when I hit "track package," I'll be reminded that some people actually think that the US Government can't do anything right, and that services like mail delivery should be privatized. Yeah, that's a great idea- if you only want to get your mail when it's 65 degrees and sunny out.

That's Logistics? No, that's crap.

What can Brown do for you? A lot, I suppose, as long as conditions are perfect. When they aren't? Hmm...not so much.