And what do we fertilize delicate flowers with?

Why is everyone so darned serious in these commercials? I mean, they are already at a chain restaurant dive which prides itself on featuring cheap junk at low prices (all you can eat for under five dollars?) Do they think that being carefully meticulous in building their salads they can somehow mitigate the shame of choosing THIS as an appropriate place to eat?

And who actually eats at All You Can Eat joints, anyway? Why would anyone look forward to a night of gorging ones self with carbs and sugar before waddling back to the car hoping that there's something left of that roll of TUMS you left in the glove compartment? Why would anyone want to eat until they couldn't eat anymore (and if you DON'T want to eat until your stomach is pressed up against your lungs, why go to an All You Can Eat place at all- why accept All You Can Eat quality if that's not your intention?) It's really not enough that we live in the richest, fattest nation on Earth without demanding the right to consume enough calories to feed your average Ethiopian village for a week at one sitting (and all for under five dollars!?)

I do like the way this commercial cuts through the BS- no, Cicis customers are not there for the salad bar. You can pretend that you are going to pay All You Can Eat prices and then just build yourself a healthy little pile of greens and tomatoes (sloooowllly....jeesh, how long is this woman's lunch break? Good thing there's nobody in "line" behind her....he might be compelled to become a "line jumper...") but in the end, you are going to be piling that plate with slices of pizza, cinnamon buns, and all the rest of the fatty dreck places like this specialize in. And because you are a typical slob, you are going to value your sitting down time more than your dignity, and show your disdain for the idea of actually getting up more than once to refill that plate. Of course, this means that you are going to sit down with a disgusting mountain of "food"-- but what difference does that make, when the rest of the sweaty herd around you has done the same thing?

And as if to give a big Cicis Thumbs Up to this behavior, the ad concludes with a delightful shot of this idiot shoveling food into her cake hole as if someone's going to be stealing it from her in a few minutes, before looking around to check if someone here looks like they might be familiar with the Heimlich Maneuver (I'm guessing that the staff are all experts at it.) She can't really be feeling a modicum of shame for what she's doing, can she? I mean, she's at CICIS!!

So come to Cicis, where you are encouraged to play Disgusting Pig At The Trough. I'll think I'll pass on the Cheesy Deliciousness, thanks anyway.