At least this one isn't being narrated by Chris Berman

It's September, which means three things:

1. When I drive to school, I will have to maneuver around the SAHMs waiting at the bus stops with their kids as they give me dirty looks for committing the unpardonable sin of driving through THEIR neighborhood while trying to get to work,

2. Lee Corso will be back for another year of "College Gameday" on ESPN, spending each and every Saturday drooling uncontrollably over the athletic prowess of men one-fourth his age, and

3. Applebee's will be back with another stupid series of commercials featuring it's customers acting like morons in response to the sights, smells and sounds of cheap, fatty food.

In this particular ad, people with no taste buds, small entertainment budgets and idiotic friends are distracted away from their witless, pointless conversations by the roar of sizzling food ( I mean, how incredibly loud must that steak be sizzling for one woman to interrupt her engrossing "and then she said to the guy..." story? I sure hope she can remember where she left off when the plate has been moved out of earshot, or cooled down a bit!) I must say, except for the obvious exaggeration used here (no one believes that the steaks really emit deafening sizzling noises like this, right?) this is a reasonably honest commercial. I mean, there's no claim that anything being shown actually tastes good, just that it comes out of the kitchen sizzling in it's own greases. And just as Slim Fast is supposed to be "served very cold," perhaps the idea is that anything can be made palatable if it's too hot to taste?

I half expected someone to note that the food is way too quiet at The Olive Garden- I mean, nothing says "fun" like REALLY LOUD FOOD, right? Right?

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to watching Corso go into a haze while marveling at the athleticism of a guy young enough to be his great-grandson. Ugh, could you please just retire already?