Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Because nothing says "excitement" like an Oil Change
Know what they do at Jiffy Lube? They CLEAN!! (Wow!)
They CHECK! (What does this mean, exactly? I mean, how much does it cost to have someone "check" your fluid levels? How helpless are we?)
They INSPECT! (How is this different from CHECKING?)
Oh, and they sell you on the idea that you really need to have your oil changed every three thousand miles! And your tires rotated every time you come in! And your radiator flushed constantly!
And then they try to convince you that you need overpriced windshield wipers! And synthetic oil! And a heating and cooling system adjustment! And a whole lot of other unnecessary crap you can get talked into because you don't know one damn thing about cars!
And if you're REALLY ignorant, once you've emptied your wallet into the coffers of your local Jiffy Lube, you can hit the nearest Starbucks to blather on and on about how thrilled you are at how it only took an hour or so to get an oil change, plus a few little "extras" that added only 500% or so to the cost!
Just do me a favor, ok? If you do decide to head to Starbucks to share your amazing story, keep in mind that there are people in line behind you who aren't as enthralled with the Saga of The Easily Lead as you might think. And the faster you finish sharing, the faster they can proceed to give their ten-minute order to the "Barista" (snigger) for that Venti Carmel Orange Latte with four creams and two and a half sugars, extra whipped topping and a shot of espresso.
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This sort of ad reminds me of a comedy routine I heard thirty years ago; when asked what kind of car he drove, the comedian said 'green' and watched the mechanic's eyes light up in anticipation of soaking an ignoramus.
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