Thursday, October 13, 2011
Hey, at least it's not Tee Set
Guess what, morons? You don't look stupid getting the words to "Rocket Man" wrong. Don't be ashamed because there's a line in the song you've spent your whole life mishearing.
You should be too busy being ashamed that you are even attempting to sing Elton John's Major Tom ripoff. Or any Elton John song at all. I will, however, give you credit and a tip of the hat for not subjecting us to some mangled version of the worst song ever written which is not called MacArthur Park or "sung" by Paper Lace, Sir Elton's treacly "tribute" to Princess Diana. God what an ear-bleeder.
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I remember Shatner's cover version of it and thinking "Well, at least Captain Kirk is telling us what the song is about: some bored white guy smoking a reefer as if getting stoned and stupid is some sort of mystical adventure or something." Most of the people listening to the original might as well be thinking it's about provolone because Elton John cannot enunciate any more than he can make clear that he lusted for a male Russian sentry stationed at Checkpoint Charlie; the end result of that is zillions of idiots naming their daughters Nikita 'because it ends in an A and because there was a woman in the video'.
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