I've got your "Italian" right here, Fiat

Yes, I'm one quarter Italian. But I was offended by this stupid eTrade Baby ripoff long before the kid pulls a modern version of "It's a Spicy Meata Ball" for no particular reason in the final scene.

First off, what's this "it was girls night out" crap? You know, nobody thinks to wonder why a WOMAN is hanging out with a child. But despite the fact that last time I checked it was the year 2012, the sight of a man with a baby still draws curious looks and a demand for an explanation. What the hell?

"Girls night out?" How nice. Mommy is taking a break from HER job- raising the kid I guess she had ALL BY HERSELF, so Daddy is "pitching in" by giving mom a "break" and making this huge sacrifice (chuckle, snort, boy he looks stupid, he must think he's a girl or something) by- get this- actually spending time with his own child! Mom's going to owe him for this, big time!

Second, this is some seriously reckless driving, considering the fact that there's a freaking BABY in the back seat. "We're going to miss the whole thing" is the "explanation" we are given for the fact that the driver is acting as if he's trying to qualify for the Indy 500. We hear the engine roar. We see this little piece of tin on wheels weave in and out of traffic. Well, why not- it's been clear that this isn't the driver's kid, after all.

Third- what's with the face on that old guy? Who looks at a baby like that? Even if he's ticked because he's been cut off by a Fiat being driven by a reckless doofus, shouldn't he be saving that angry glance for one of the ADULTS?

Oh wait, I get it- the old guy is puzzled to see a baby in the back seat of a car driven by two men. Probably thinks the kid must have been kidnapped or something. I mean, come on- a baby in the company of two men, and no women? What is that all about? That's like seeing a fish riding a bicycle, isn't it?

And finally, the LOL So Funny Never Gets Old Baby Acting Like an Adult moment, which is more like Baby Acting Like an Italian Stereotype Which I Thought Had Been Shown the Exit back in the 1970s. This gets eaten up by the knuckle-dragging glue-sniffers over at YouTube, but I don't see how it's the slightest bit funny. Let alone effective in getting me interested in owning a Fiat.

Thanks anyway, but I don't need to "get my Italian on" by purchasing a car from a company which thinks that equal parts sexism and bigotry are good ingredients in a commercial. I have to admit, though, that I can't imagine buying one of these ugly things under any circumstances, so you haven't really lost anything, Fiat. Except perhaps a modicum of self-respect. And a possible future lawsuit to eTrade.