Best Buy presents the Destroyers of the Universe....

...and wow, are they ever proud of it.

Get a load of these smug assholes.  Each one "created" some pointless, time-and-life-sucking phone add-on designed to create a billion or so witless zombie addicts who simply can't go more than thirty seconds without whipping out their stupid phones to do SOMETHING.  One of them "created the first text message."  Another invented the camera phone (thank goodness, because actual cameras are so big and bulky, not to mention how IMPOSSIBLE it is to transfer photos to Facebook, after all.)  Another added that awesome "innovation" in which your New Best Friend talks to you in a bland, flat yet mysteriously popular digital voice.

Did they all get massively rich off their Amazingly Inventive And Oh So Very Necessary Improvements?  I don't know.  Not necessarily- at the time that little light bulb went off over their heads, they might have been working for a corporation which held ownership rights over everything they came up with while f--ing around with whatever they were supposed to be doing within the four cardboard and fabric walls which made up their cubicle.  I almost hope this is true, and the only real reward these Society-ruining asses can look forward to is repeated showings of this stupid ad.

Because, let's be serious- none of the junk these guys "invented" does anything to make life even a little bit better for anyone, does it?  All these "innovations" do is make life just a little Dumber- life, and the people who seem to spend more and more of their lives squinting at the idiot boxes that fit conveniently in their hands.  Providing "connectivity."  Or something.

So- Modern-day Einsteins?  You'll excuse me if I'm not first to nominate you for the Nobel Prize, ok?  I'll be too busy adding your likenesses to my Museum of Worthless Morons Who May Have Gotten Rich Making Everyone Around Me Spoiled, Clueless, Helpless Dickwads. .  Thanks for nothing.