How sick does this make me, GEICO? I'm so glad you asked....

You get the idea that the suits over at GEICO got sick of someone's complaining about the stupid lizard, the insipid cavemen, and all the rest of the army of spokeschoad gimmicks that make up the company's advertising strategy.  (No, this does NOT mean that I am taking responsibility for this latest atrocity.)  So they decided to unleash this horror on us- a potentially unlimited basket of "Happier Than ..." commercials guaranteed to leave us constantly diving for the remote roughly 800 times per NFL game and at the conclusion of every inning.

Over at GEICO, the guy who came up with this campaign (burn in hell) is being congratulated for making it possible for anyone over the age of eight and the brain power required to tie his shoelaces to "create" a GEICO commercial without even trying (as if this weren't the case already.)  Think you aren't going to see eighty or ninety "How Happy is that, Jimmy?' commercials over the next two or three years?  How long have you been an incurable optimist?

Our only real hope now is that the company goes under in the Depression of 2013, which I am now rooting for.  Because I can live with 25% unemployment and soup kitchens.  Stupid ugly dicks picking at banjos and bleating terrible "punchlines?"  I'm not sure.

Oh, and BTW, GEICO- nobody under the age of forty knows who the hell Gallagher is, and nobody over the age of forty gives a damn.  I know you don't care, but I thought I'd let you know, anyway.