Friday, October 12, 2012
Racist. Sexist. Stupid. Your Wal-Mart.
Hispanic women are so stupid, they find victories worthy of High-Fives in their ability to move their cart of Chinese junk to the Lay-Away desk at their local Wal-Mart. Wow. Aim High, Sister!!
Black men are so obsessed with big screen televisions and other shiny, glowing objects that they are incapable of noticing ten-foot signs which read WE HAVE LAYAWAY MORONS until a helpful Wal Mart drone points them out..
Hispanic women think that they have actually accomplished something when they commit to buying more than they can afford over a long period of time. Heck, it worked out really well with that adjustable-rate mortgage, right?
Black men see monthly payments as "bite-sized chunks." They think about how much they could buy if only everything could be purchased in "bite-sized chunks." You get the feeling that this guy wistfully remembers the good old days, when VISA allowed him to carry a credit card. That lasted until he decided that those $35 monthly minimum "bite-sized chunks" were still too big for him to swallow, and he went into default.
Hispanic women and black men are easily seduced by the siren song of the Lay-Away Plan. The lyrics go something like this: "Don't live within your means- it's Christmas, after all, and the economy depends on your willingness to go into debt to show people How Much You Love Them. And it's So Simple- just a little money down, and then a little more every week, and when you get done paying you won't even notice how much you ended up spending because the whole process was so gradual. And think how happy they'll be with their toys, their video games, their big-screen televisions....how can you put a price on that?"
So, to sum up: Hispanic women and Black men are easily excited, illiterate children with no financial sense. Thanks for the update, Wal Mart.
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As bad as this is, we can be glad that we dodged the bullet called 'advert featuring Black women'; we'd get someone as stupid and cocksure as the head-rolling monster mother in the comic strip Curtis.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure I'm in for a lot of "oh lighten up, this isn't sexist or racist" replies. While it's true that some people are easily offended, it's even more amazing how many people simply refuse to take offense when it's slapping them across the face.
DeleteOK, these ads are insipid, and normally I agree with many of your pontifications about how foolish people are in living way beyond their means. However, have you considered two things? 1) Some people may want or need to make a purchase that's beyond their means primarily because they have really crappy jobs that barely pay minimum wage (Wal-Mart employees, for example). Is it their fault that, say, buying a really good winter coat for their kid is beyond their means? 2) If people are, every once in a while, going to make a purchase by "buying on time," as such stuff quaintly used to be called in the old days, is it not more sound and economical for them to do so using layaway than by just whipping out a credit card and saying "Charge it"? True, if they fail to pay off their purchase it's not so hot. But if they do pay it off, they're taking possession of the thing they've bought only after it's been fully paid for. They're also not being charged interest on a revolving unpaid balance, which can jack up the cost of an item far beyond its asking price. For those who truly need something they can't afford to pay off right away, it seems layaway is a superior solution to either credit cards or the "rent-to-own" racket.
ReplyDeleteNo problem at all- it's just that Lay A Way is never, ever portrayed in the way that you describe. We never see people gratefully setting aside warm coats or shoes for their kids- it's always baskets of plastic toys, big screen televisions, etc. And I guess I'm just old school about this- I think that if you plan on buying something like a television, you decide how much you want to spend, then you save the money till you can afford it. Considering that the price is only going to go down over time, this just makes more sense to me than handing Wal Mart money every month, emotionally locking yourself into purchasing the item, until you've finally paid it off, at which time it's out of date. But that's just me- to each his or her own.
Delete(I'd say Lay a Way probably IS superior than charging, and it HAS to be superior to Rent-to-Own, but that's kind of like acknowledging that a root canal is superior to a heart attack, in my never, ever humble opinion.)