Saturday, January 12, 2013
Wraptastic: For the terminally helpless among us
Would it be considered overdoing it if I used this Amazing New Product while wearing my Forever Lazy body wrap? Just asking.
By the way, listen to this commercial very carefully. I swear, it features more moaning than your average seventies porno film. These people are REALLY frustrated. Or turned on. Or something.
And I love that if you order this thing RIGHT NOW, you get a second for free (give it to a very disappointed coworker at next year's holiday office party- giving to a loved one you aren't planning to divorce Not Recommended) AND a free roll of plastic wrap AND a free roll of aluminum foil. You could pay HUNDREDS for these items (if you shop at Costco, and insist on purchasing a 300-year supply in one visit,) but the makers of Wraptastic are INCLUDING it with this offer if you CALL NOW.
I'm not quite helpless enough to order one (or two) of these things, but I can certainly see it's appeal to people who don't live on Taco Bell takeout and the McDonald's Dollar Menu. And I've always kind of wondered why the people who make plastic wrap and aluminum foil never got around to making a box which actually allows one to smoothly cut the stuff. Maybe they, and we, were all just waiting for Wraptastic to come around.
Still- all that moaning. That's just weird.
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I wonder if many of the deaths associated with auto-erotic asphyxiation were actually the result of one of these morons trying to use plastic wrap.
ReplyDeleteThere is no fucking difference between the original containers and the Wraptastic. If you can't pull a length of foil or plastic wrap out of the original box without turning it into a bad Three Stooges skit, then you won't be able to do it with the Wraptastic, because all the twisting and tangling begins once the stuff is out in the open.