Forty-something years of simply Not Doing My Job...

I really hope that reincarnation is real, because when I die I'd like to come back as a Man, so I can do Man things like

1.  Toast other Men with Light Beer after leering at waitresses,

2.  Maintain a Totally Natural 3-Day beard and Even More Naturally Mussed hair,

3.  Never wear any outfit on the weekend that does not include a dirty plaid shirt which is untucked,

4.  Throw heavy things like engines and plumbing supplies in the back of dirty pickup trucks,

5.  Barbecue Everything,

6.  Be inexplicably married to a girl who is way too good for me,*  and

7.  Take sledge hammers to decks, bathrooms, etc. so I can Remodel, Remodel and Remodel some more.

I mean, it all looks like so much fun.

*I've actually done this one.  So I have SOME Man experience.  Other than that, though, I really don't resemble anyone who has ever played a Man in a television commercial.  And I'd really like to.  Maybe next time.