Know who forgot that the house and security came with this guy? This girl.

1.  Hey, lady?  That's a pretty nice house you've got there.  Looks spotless, too- and there you are, sitting in a gleaming living room on a comfy couch while hubby is driving home from work.  He brags incessantly about the great deal he got on a Jetta?  I'd buy some earplugs.  After all...

2.  You already put up with that stupid three-days-growth beard and the fact that he thinks that scoring a great deal on a freaking VOLKSWAGEN is something to brag about.  Did I mention the nice house?  But if all else fails, you can....

3.  Build yourself a time machine, go back a few years, and decide that your soul wasn't really worth the nice house and guy who makes enough money to buy you stuff if the guy who makes enough money to buy you stuff is an obnoxious braggart who is so f--ing full of himself that he apparently spent several WEEKS telling everyone in his contact list about his new car, in exactly the same words, from the comfort of his living room. Because if that parrot learned this entirely from hubby's conversations with YOU about the car-- well, AGAIN- you wanted this, you got it.

4.  If all else fails, that parrot would probably look just fine on a bed of rice.  And I'm sure hubby's expecting dinner on the table when he walks in from the driveway and his precious Jetta.