My long-standing issue with Kentucky FRIED Chicken

It's not this particular commercial, which seems to feature entire families who are so stunted in their ability to show emotion that they think handing someone a deep-fried bird part is an acceptable alternative to using words (but seriously, just look at these weirdos- their whole lives seem to revolve around the ritualistic Sharing Of The Chicken.  What the hell?)

It's not the implied message that Greasy Crap=Love.  Because in a world where Cars=Love, Texts=Love, and Consumption in General=Love, this is pretty tame.

Nope, what has always bothered about me with KFC ads is the Magic Overflowing Bucket which appears in every single one.  It doesn't matter if two people are sharing the chicken, or twenty.  When you see a bucket of KFC, it's always bursting with over-sized legs, thighs and breasts.  At one point in the commercial I embedded here, a leg is delicately lifted from a mountain of pieces which looks in real danger of collapsing under it's own weight. Anyone who has ever actually purchased a bucket of chicken from KFC knows that in real life, the bucket is maybe 2/3 full with a greasy white plastic lid shoved into it.  The overflowing bucket is only possible if you take two buckets and try to shove them together into one.  And that STILL won't get you the huge golden-brown plastic things you see in these ads- generally the fried chicken I've seen from this place is much smaller, darker and drier-looking.

Next time you find yourself watching one of these ads, note that there might be a dozen people sitting around, each one eating chicken- yet at the center of the room you'll see the bucket, still overflowing as if has yet to be touched.  Like some mythical food-providing table cloth or cauldron from an ancient kid's story, except I'm not sure I would actually want to refer to KFC as "food."

However, there is one good thing that comes out of these KFC ads- they give me the opportunity to share one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite films (skip to 1:16 to see it.)  A bottomless bag of coffee- now THAT'S something I could really use!