Get this guy away from these kids, before he does even more damage.

"Let's say a friend called and asked you to come over and had a really cool pool.  What would you do?"

"Go over and swim in the pool!"

"Ok, now let's say another friend called right before you left and invited you to come over and swim in their bigger pool.  What would you do?"

"Go swim in the bigger pool!"

"Wait a minute- what about the first friend who called? Do you just blow them off because their pool is smaller and, therefore, lamer?"

"Hell yes!"

"Ok, now what if a friend called who didn't own a pool at all and invited you to visit.  Would you go?"

"No!  Only if they have a pool!  And I'll only visit if they have the biggest, best pool of all my friends!"

"Congratulations.  At the age of five, you are a shallow dickwad who picks friends based on what they can provide for you, and dumps them as soon as you find friends who have more to offer in terms of things like swimming pools.  You are ready to be an adult who embraces 21st Century American Values."