The most awful 11 second commercial ever, courtesy of Hulu

Once again, I'm so grateful I got married before the age of cell phones.  I'm pretty sure I would have killed someone at some point during the ceremony.

Earth to anyone who would do something like this:  If you absolutely, positively cannot stop fucking around with your phone for a 30-minute stretch while two people pledge to live together and have sex for an indeterminate period of time, please just stay away.  Your presence is not so important that the Temporarily Happy Couple is willing to let you behave like an obtuse, self-centered jackass during what might very well be the only wedding they are ever the stars of.   Just stay home with your phone.

Or, if I ever get married again, please come and try to pull this during the ceremony.   Just carry a spare phone with a really good proctologist on speed dial.  Don't put it on the phone you normally use.  It won't be readily available.