Sunday, April 20, 2014
The next time this thing hits my tv, I'm throwing a brick through it
The only believable thing about this god-awful insulting pile of dung is that it features Vanilla Ice working as a grocery store stock boy. Hey, everyone has to earn a living.
The rest of it- oh lord, every time I think commercials can't possibly get any worse, something like this pops up. It's not even that Vanilla Ice seems genuinely excited about stacking infinite boxes of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese shaped like characters popular 25 years ago (when I had pretty much the same job 25 years ago, I was nowhere near this enthusiastic, sorry.) It's that this insane woman goes into weird convulsions which I guess are supposed to be a combination of ecstasy over actually meeting Vanilla Ice (she doesn't look fifty, how does she even know who he is?) and the thrill of anticipation over consuming orange cheese-flavored fatty crud with her idiot kid who Now Thinks She's An Idiot.
Anyway, I expect I'll need a new tv soon, because they are playing this commercial during Cosmos, which is rapidly becoming my favorite show.
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Oddly enough, when I think of the product, I do think of Cultural Appropriation Man so at least they've got the right pitch-man. Both are lame, pre-processed and valueless substitutes for the genuine pitched to those without a sense of taste.
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