Actually, a nice case of salmonella poisoning is probably exactly what the doctor ordered for these jackasses

A.  Wrap your arm around the pole, you stupid knob.  You can't convince me that anyone who carries food around like that- exposed, instead of in a bag like a normal, sane person- is worried about picking up germs.

B.  Get ready for an assault lawsuit from the people you "accidentally" fall into because you are too rock-stupid to steady yourself AND hold your breakfast at the same time.  Or at the very least, get ready for a knee to the groin.

C.  Get ready for a nice big, fat fine from the subway security, because I don't know where this is supposed to be taking place, but I've never been on a commuter rail system on which eating is permitted.  It's a whole vermin-infestation and cleanliness thing.  Not that these morons look like they give a flying damn about anyone but themselves, but if you hit them in the wallet maybe?

D.  Demonstrate that you are functioning adults who have two brain cells to rub together and just eat your f---ing food in the "restaurant" or on the way to the subway.  Again with the germs- are these people actually going to consume food they've been carrying around all over town exposed like that? How many dozens of people have coughed on it already?  This greasy junk must be alive with bacteria by now.  What the f--- is the matter with these people?