"The First Download is Free," the drug dealer said.

I'm not going to spend a whole lot of time snarking on everyone's favorite game Advertised in Commercials Not Starring Kate Upton's Breasts.  Because unlike the people who invest so much of their lives in junk like this, I happen to think that time is kind of precious.

Instead, I decided that I'd just give a little bit of free advertising to the good people over at Honest Trailers, who do a far better job nailing this pointless garbage than I ever could.

 And then I'll take a trip down memory lane, to the good old days when video games were innocent fun for little kids, not idiotic time wasters for alleged adults who really ought to trade in their addiction to electronic junk for something less damaging and expensive, like marijuana- I used to spend up to half an hour at a time playing this particular game, but my mom was the best player in the house:



(The cartridge cost $20- no downloading, no upgrading, no additional levels to pay for- just moderately priced fun when it was too rainy or cold to play outside, or one was suffering from an illness that kept one housebound.  Oh, and when one was a CHILD.)