For the people who have everything-- More!..

In every single one of these awful Swiffer ads, people living in houses which suggest that they have absolutely no need for a free ten-year supply of anything open their massive doors to discover that the Mop Fairy has left them a free ten-year supply of Swiffer mop thingees.  So their Almost Perfect Lives are now Almost Perfect Lives with clean floors.  Uh huh.

I keep opening the door to my Not-House and finding no packages containing anything I didn't order and pay for.  Meaning that the Swiffer Mop Fairy is a lot like Santa Claus- it saves the very best gifts for people who can already afford pretty much everything they want.  If I get a Free Sample of dog food it makes my day- and I don't even own a dog.