DraftKings Presents: The First Day of the Rest of your Life

The only fantasy this guy should be having is finding himself a life and an actual reason to get up in the morning.  Because fantasy football as your guiding force and reason for being?  Calling that "sad" would be an insult to the word "sad."  Hell, I don't even think "pathetic" would suffice.

How does DraftKings work?  Well, it's gambling, pure and simple, so let's just skip to "how does organized gambling work?"  Pretty basic:  A large population risks money.  A very tiny sliver of that large population collects money for their risk.  A much, MUCH larger portion loses money (and some percentage of that large portion goes on to risk more money, lose again, develop an addiction, and end up with really big problems involving friends, family, and creditors.)  The very tiny sliver of winners are given a ton of attention.  The very  large population of losers are given no attention at all- in fact, as far as advertising agencies working for companies like DraftKings (and State Lotteries, which are the biggest scumbags of all in my humble opinion) are concerned, they simply don't exist.  Everyone's A Winner, except of course for the 99.9% who aren't.

(There's another one of these ads in which a guy calls winning at DraftKings "the greatest adrenelin rush there is."  Which makes him the SADDEST HUMAN BEING EVER.  Seriously, GET A DATE YOU IDIOT!)

Someone wake up Webster.  He's got to come up with a new word for this level of meaninglessness.