The best iPhone ad I've ever seen

Ok, so this isn't actually an iPhone ad.  And this post really falls under the category of Personal Privilege, since it's not a commercial at all, just something I found very, very funny which did a great job channeling my own thoughts about stupid cell phone addicts and their pathetic need for whatever new electronic gadget has a small "i" attached to it's name.  You people make me sick.  Especially when you divide your attention between your damn phones and the damn road while you are manuevering your damn cars, making me jump out of your way, dicktards.

Oh, and when you can't put your f---ing phones down long enough to scan your damn groceries properly when you are in front of me in line.  The phrase is "I'll call you back."  Learn it.  Live it.

Oh, and when you try to use your f---ing phone to gain access to a baseball game or an airplane.  Your ticket is on your phone, isn't that awesome and special- until it doesn't work.  Then I'm being held up with my Inferior but 100 Percent Functional paper ticket while you wave your digital one around waiting to hear a beep. Jagoff.

Oh, and when you haven't figured out that everyone on the train can hear your stupid, pointless, vapid conversation.  You would not believe the incredibly personal information I've heard you blather over your damn phones at high volume.  What the hell is the matter with you idiots?  If you don't have any respect for your own privacy, that's your problem.  Why are you making it the problem of the person you are talking to- and the problem of everyone within twenty feet of you, you braying jackasses?

For all the rest of you-- Enjoy the R-rated wonderfulness.  I know I did.