Friday, March 4, 2016
Sure puts that bag of 9 peanuts in perspective....
One day, Jennifer Aniston had a terrible nightmare. She dreamed that she was on a plane which did not provide showers or a bar. She was wandering around in a bathrobe looking for these things (which, after all, are available in even the most modest of private residences) up and down the plane, only to be told that they were not available because she was not on an Emirates jet.
Fortunately, she woke up before the nightmare could get any more horrible. She got her shower in, and then sat at the bar and told someone all about her truly horrific experience. I mean, can you imagine- a jet plane without a shower?
Let's sum up the real message of this commercial: One day, Jennifer Aniston fell asleep on a jet and dreamt that she was not a multimillionaire still coasting on the inexplicable success of a stupid sitcom that went off the air twenty years ago and a series of totally forgetable romantic comedies. Instead, in her dream, she was pretty much just like the rest of us, on a totally shower-less and bar-less plane, with nothing to remind her that she was So Much Better Than Pretty Much Everyone except for that First Class Seat, which clearly doesn't mean anything like it used to. In her dream she was so much like 99.9999 percent of the population, it was enough to startle her back to her golden reality.
Me? I'll remember Jennifer Aniston's nightmare often. Probably every time I'm handed my complimentary 6-ounce cup of Diet Coke (mini cans of Pringles available for $3.50, exact change is appreciated.) And every time I see Aniston's face on a magazine cover at a checkout line- which is to say, every time I'm on a checkout line. Thanks a lot, Ms Aniston.
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It almost makes you yearn for the simplicity of her hawking skin cream that she doesn't actually use.
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