Thursday, May 19, 2016
The Weather Channel.com, translated
When they say...
"Rain Possible at 9 AM," You think "ok, it's 7 AM and it takes me an hour to walk to school. No problem." The problem is, what they MEAN is "drizzle by 7:15, pouring by 7:45." If I didn't bring an umbrella every day regardless, I would have arrived to school soaked several times over the last two weeks because Weather.com acts like a jerk genie-- "well, we were right, weren't we? We SAID rain possible at 9 AM. And wasn't that correct?"
When they say...
"Killer Storm Approaching." What they MEAN is "one percent chance of damaging storm hitting one percent of the country." Big news- for very, very few people but not you, and it makes you wonder why they even bother to ask for your location if they are going to constantly be giving you blaring headlines which don't concern you in the slightest.
When they say....
"You won't BELIEVE what this animal did next" they mean "we will fill our pages with junk non-stories only drooling idiots with two much time on their hands will read."
When they say....
"If you live in Maryland here's a trick your insurance company doesn't want you to know about" it means "we'll sell spam-laden ads to anyone."
Ok, have to get ready to head off to school. No rain in the forecast. I'll be packing my umbrella.
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And then there's the annoying habit they have of showing a WEATHER ALERT right on through the local forecast because they're too stupid to leave it up to the Emergency Message thing. It's the moral equivalent of having Elly Patterson screaming at you about putting on your snowsuit.
ReplyDeleteThe epitome of the high-tech concept of "communication".
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