What hasn't been going on this summer: Binge Parenting

Or, apparently, any parenting at all.

Seriously, if your child spent the entire summer slouched on the family couch sucking down gallon drums of soft drinks while watching television, you've got problems that bringing home a backpack are simply not going to solve.  Because the fault doesn't lie with the child, Mommy.  It lies with you and your "I can't do anything about it so thank goodness the school bell is about to ring" attitude concerning the proper care and feeding of your daughter.

Because after all, there are still going to be weekends and holidays and all you've taught your kid is that when there's no schoolwork to be done, it's perfectly ok to get a jump start on that adulthood dealing with Type II Diabetes.  Not to mention her obvious lack of social connections (sorry, I mean FRIENDS) or physical activity or pretty much anything outside of television in her life.

Your child is in trouble, lady, and school isn't going to save her.  Because her real problem isn't a lack of school-imposed deadlines.  Her real problem is a lack of parents who actually give a damn.  Good luck to both of you dealing with that.