How this Verizon Commercial really plays out

"Stop telling me to plug the cord into the connector, I've done that and it's not working!"

"(Sigh) ok, moron- because I don't want to spend any more time on the phone with your worthless, helpless ass, I'm sending you a link so I can see what you see."

"You can do that?  Wait a minute- what button do I push on my phone once you send the App? And what's an App, anyway?"

"(Groan) ok I'm just going to send an Application which allows me to basically take over your phone's camera so I can see what you can see but are failing to see."

"Wait a minute, let me get my daughter over here to do that, I don't know what you are talking about."

"We've got the camera working now, just point it at the box.  See that cord, the one in your hand?  Stick it in the connector to the left, just like I told you fifteen times before getting control of your phone."

"Ok, I did that."

"No, you put the cord into the light socket.  Put it in the cable box.  That's the box on top of the TV.  Just connect the cord to the connector to the left.  Slowly now.  That's right, you've got it!"

"Hey, I did it, this is a great service!"

"We know- it allowed us to fire hundreds of service techs last year and made our stock go up almost half a point.  Of course, by 'we' I mean the people who own Verizon.  I just work a phone bank, and if you think I'm actually a twentysomething white guy sitting in a stylish office, I understand why you were too stupid to figure out how to plug in a cord without having your hand held through the process."