Grammarly- when you kind of want to sound like you, but not really because you're an illiterate idiot

"The Future" being one owned and controlled by idiots who don't read or write because Hey TV Was On Every Time I Planned To Do That Stuff.

"Does this sound like me?"  Well, no- it sounds like a literate person, and we know you aren't that.  As soon as the people who read this notice that it's not filled with grammatical errors, they are going to know you didn't write it.  And because they know what Grammarly is and get most of their information from Alexa and Siri and can't get to the local Starbucks without consulting turn-by-turn directions on their iPhones, they probably won't care either.

Oh, but this guy is going to be the "VP of Analytics."  Whatever the hell that is.  All I know about that job is that doing it doesn't require any actual English skills, because this worthless choad has already survived the interview and the rest of the hiring process and is now just momentarily flummoxed because for at least one day he has to pretend to know just a little bit about the language he allegedly grew up speaking (but never writing unless absolutely forced to, which wasn't often because Sports and TV.