Saturday, January 20, 2018

The right time of year for more Optima Tax Relief snark



Here we go again.....

Eric was "overwhelmed" because he made money and didn't pay taxes and accumulated assets with the extra money he had because he didn't pay taxes.  "Suddenly" he found himself owing the IRS* $15,000 in unpaid taxes and no matter how hard he "tried," he just couldn't figure out how to pay it back- you know, without selling the stuff he bought with the money he was supposed to pay in taxes, because that was totally out of the question, of course.

So poor Eric did the only thing he could do short of calling the IRS and arranging a payment plan to take care of his 100 percent legitimate debt which he chose to create- he called Optima Tax Relief and paid THEM to negotiate a settlement, because Eric is pretty damn stupid with money, disinterested in paying his fair share for the maintenence of the society he benefits from, and basically a selfish asshat.

"It was easy as 1....2....3...." good thing, because I don't think Eric would have been able to deal with this if Optima had made it any more difficult.  Besides being stupid and selfish, Eric doesn't strike me as particularly bright. 

*notice how the people in these ads always tell us that they "owe the IRS."  They never, EVER say that they "owe the people of the United States," which is much more accurate but far less likely to draw a sympathetic reaction from the audience.  I suspect the commercials wouldn't be quite as successful if the people in them said "Unlike most of you watching, I didn't pay my fair share in taxes for years.  Instead, I used that money to buy stuff- stuff that you didn't buy because you didn't have the money, because you thought you had to pay taxes."
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4 comments:

  1. Tal HartsfeldJanuary 20, 2018 at 7:17 AM

    I've always wondered where these folks got the money to buy all these fancy iPhones, cable and satellite TV, 40" big screen televisions, 10-piece furniture sets, nights out at Outback Steak House several times a month, and the like .....

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    1. John F JameleJanuary 20, 2018 at 8:09 AM

      Clearly, by not paying taxes and then getting out of paying taxes by calling companies like this. I just don't get the "feel sorry for me" pitch. I don't feel sorry for jackasses like this. They don't need a break, they need a lesson.

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  2. SklogwMarch 30, 2020 at 11:37 AM

    Sorry for the anti correctness of my comment but both Deanna and Eric strike me as being at least mildly retarded. I think in order to settle their tax debts one would first need to explain what money is, or in Eric's case maybe what number actually comes after 3. The other dude just looks like a classic hillbilly that keeps all of his money in a mattress next to his extensive collection of moonshine. He then realize this s*** wasn't going to work after the government man came up into his holler and came a-knockin. and then comes on the screen the only guy that f****** looks like you knows anything. Listen to me about what I'm saying with my piercing eyes and good-looking charm.

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  3. SklogwMarch 30, 2020 at 11:39 AM

    Forgive the political incorrectness of this but Eric and Deanna both strike me as being more than a little bit retarded. In order to explain what taxes are to Eric one might actually need to tell him what number comes after 3. The other guy just looks like an idiotic hillbilly cat keeps all his money in a mattress next to his extensive moonshine collection only for the government man to come a-knocking in his holler.....

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