Wednesday, October 9, 2019
Taco Bell's latest offering to America's Insatiable Stupid Food Hole
In the sick, perverted fantasy world of Taco Bell, thousands of people stand in line like lemmings who've been told that their destination is a store selling the newest iPhone to buy whatever greasy piece of faux-Mexican food trash they deign to serve up this week.
As if this commercial wasn't dumb enough on it's face- and it is (I mean, seriously- how many hours are these people standing in line to purchase a taco dusted with cheese? It's CHEESE, people- not gold. Not the newest iPhones! CHEESE! And pretty much exactly the same kind of cheese you wipe on your pants after eating a bag of Doritos! Seriously, people!) we have the spectacle of a woman commenting on what she just waited on line for, purchased, and is now eating as she walks out the door (I actually find this rather believable. Anyone dumb enough waste a day they'll never get back to buy a handful of greasy meat wrapped in a giant Dorito is certainly dumb enough to express amazement over the concept seconds after the purchase.)
Here's what I don't get, though: Why is the product featured in this SNL ad from six years ago not on the menu at Taco Bell yet? I mean, Taco Bell is owned by Kentucky Fried Chicken, the people who brought us the Sandwich with deep-fried chicken in the place of bread. Surely they can figure out the physics of a taco-pizza-crepe-pancake combo. I'd stand in line for that!*
*not really
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As I've said before, they're like the GOP: they have no choice but to lie because like the Republican party, they'd go out of business if they told the truth about their bland pabulum and dreary physical plant.
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