When YouTube "reviews" are just badly disguised commercials #1- Daily Harvest

I found this looking for an actual Daily Harvest commercial after seeing the ad for yet another Non Food Delivered to the Door of Rich White People service.  Then I watched this video and realized- yep, it's just a commercial for Daily Harvest trying really, really hard to be a Review.

Couple things. First, this clown gives away that he's doing a commercial for Daily Harvest literally seconds into this...um...."review."  He "hates making breakfast" because it's a "hassle" with all the "chopping," and he's "trying to eat healthy," etc. etc. etc.  Why doesn't he just eat a bowl of whole grain cereal with a grapefruit on the side?  No hassle, no chopping, very healthy.  Oh right- because this is a COMMERCIAL FOR DAILY HARVEST and the only simple solution to his "problem" is going to have to be Daily Harvest.

Second, this guy's enthusiasm for Daily Harvest doesn't even wait till he actually drinks the crap before breaking my Skepticism Meter.  The shipping was Super Fast, the "Welcome to Daily Harvest" advertisement inside the box is great, and it comes with a sheet of magnets- "Awesome!"  Jeesh buddy, why bother to even drink this stuff and risk your winning streak?  Just toss the box in the garbage and put the magnets on the fridge.  You're already a winner with Daily Harvest after all!

"This is cool, this is dry ice.  This is how it stays cold."  Um, ok buddy.  Yes, that's super helpful when you "come home from working all day," because it means your ridiculously overpriced smoothies haven't been ruined.  But it also helps explain why they are ridiculously overpriced.  Oh, but please continue.

For the next thirty seconds or so, this guy exults at the excellent wrapping to prevent leakage, and I note in horror that we aren't 90 seconds into this six minute video yet.  You know what, I'm going to assume he spends at least two minutes complimenting the font choice for the ingredients label and skip to him actually tasting this stuff.

At 4:53 he finishes a brief commercial for his Magic BulletTM smoothie maker to tell us that yep, the smoothie he makes sure smells fresh.  He invites us to smell his smoothie.  I really wish I were kidding.

He finally tastes the damn stuff at 5:12 of this six-minute video.  Shockingly, his verdict is "That's Awesome!"  Then he shows us how we can pour the smoothie back into the cup it came in- none of us would have thought of that on our own, for sure.

"And I'm out the door with America's best breakfast going on." After one sip of one flavor.  Yeah, this is "America's best breakfast going on"- and an honest review.  Suuuuurreee it is.  And oh hey what do you know, if you use his name as a PROMO CODE, you get three free smoothies "just for watching this video."  That's right- he ends his schtick by coming right out and ADMITTING he just showed us a 6:25 commercial pretending to be a review.

What did I just watch?  Five minutes and 12 seconds of some paid choad bleating superlatives about a product as he unboxes and prepares that product, followed by one sip which leads to that spokeschoad crowning his smoothie "America's best breakfast going on, here's a promo code." Where do I go to get that six minutes back?