1. Geckos.
2. Morbidly Obese Couch Potatoes.
Only one of them can do anything about it. I wouldn't suggest you use that jogging outfit you're wearing to start jogging, because I don't want you to have a heart attack. Take some walks first to bring your heart rate up slowly. Add a little more speed and/or distance every two weeks. Of course, Consult your Doctor Before Starting any Exercise ProgramTM.
And cut out the greasy Chinese takeout. That part I can safely advise without being a Nutritionist or Dietician or even a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor (yes, there are such things. I think the certification costs $20 and is available from the same place Kent Hovind got his "Doctorate.")
Yes, it's delicious. But yes, it's also killing you. Which means it's not worth it. This isn't complicated.
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