Hey look who is on a T-Mobile ad- that actor you kind of think you maybe remember, dressed up like a marshmallow!

 

So I went over to Zoe Saldana's Wiki page and found that I've seen exactly two of her films:  Pirates of the Caribbean:  Curse of the Black Pearl, where she was a bit actor you'd miss if you blinked, and Columbiana, where she was the main star and in almost every scene.  The first film made $654 million and was the fourth-biggest box office hit of 2003.   The second made $60 million and was one of the bigger box office bombs of 2011.*

That being said, Ms. Saldana is apparently worth $40 million, which leaves me wondering why she wishes "her family" would buy the new iPhone Number Whatever.   This woman is very wealthy and 45 years old.  If she wants one of these new phones, I'm pretty sure her budget can swing it. 

On the other hand, if she's seriously considering buying that stupid coat, maybe she really isn't old enough to pick out a phone for herself.  But I guess that's supposed to be the joke?  "Why do I look like a marshmallow?"  Um, maybe because you are wearing an enormous, shapeless white coat that looks like it would prevent you from boarding most elevators?

*Apparently Ms. Saldana was in talks concerning a sequel as late as 2017.  Or so she says.  I'm sure the only reason it got shelved was because of that Illness of which we Shall Not Speak.  I'm also sure that it would have been a cinematic masterpiece and we are all a little poorer for having been deprived of it. 

All snark aside, and in the interest of full disclosure, I have to admit that I rather liked Columbiana, except when it was being weighed down by the stupid plot-derailing tacked-on love story.  Sure it was as predictable as all get out and as original as your average Hallmark Christmas film; it's still reasonable background noise when I'm doing housework.  And I find it hilarious that the nation of Columbia protested that the film placed the country in a "bad light."  How the hell does one injure Columbia's reputation?