In the near future, iPhones will be programmed to simply fly themselves out of your hands or their chargers(there is no third option; iPhones are always in either one place or the other) and to the nearest Apple store, where they will trade themselves in for the latest model. Six months later, the cycle will repeat. The phones will have Power of Attorney privileges to sign updated contracts; this will be sold to customers as a Time-Saving Convenience. Those willing to pay an extra fee will have the new phones fly in and high-five the old ones as they pass, so that not even three seconds go by in which the owners* are deprived of their phones.
In short- this is creepy, weird, and way too real to be entertaining.
*I'm not sure I'm using "owners" correctly here. In a Person-iPhone relationship, who is the owner and who is the owned, again?
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