...and, to the surprise of absolutely no one, the comments are turned off. I can only imagine how badly this disgusting thirty seconds of Awful was flamed before THAT happened.
"He loves that baby..." coos one of the morbidly obese "adults" in that hospital room. I guess they can tell daddy loves the baby because he hasn't put his phone down to interact with it in any way, but instead is spending all of his time staring at a screen and talking about how he's "thinking about" bestowing gifts upon his extended family like he's a freaking Lord of the Manor or something. I mean, listen to the language he's using. Who talks like this?
"My pride and joy...." he muses, again as he continues to stare at his phone, which really does make me wonder what he's talking about. Wait, is "his baby" that phone, or the infant the woman in the bed is holding? I mean, I can see which is getting all of the attention here. And now I'm thinking that the guy with the phone just came to the hospital to show off his awesome new tech (a "joyful bundle of three"- just kill me now) because he knew that's where his wife and parents would be for some reason- oh right, that baby.
And his parents are delighted with the electronics, and think it's a perfectly appropriate time to be talking about an AT&T "bundle of three" because seriously how long can you stare at a newborn anyway? How much connectivity does THAT thing provide? Can you get an NFL streaming package on it?* I think not.
*Or order Uber Eats? I imagine it's been several minutes since these garbage bags with underused legs has consumed processed food.
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