An Airport Television Monitor, a Knife, MAGA and a great weekend to be Anywhere Else

The PF Chang restaurant next to my gate at Ronald Reagan National Airport was playing this ad pretty much nonstop for the hour leading up to my departure for Vermont for winter break.  I actually thought it was a parody until I realized that the tv was tuned to some channel that probably thinks that One America Network is too Woke.  The volume was not on, but I picked up some of the scrolling text- stuff about "standing up for America," being "prepared for anything" and "ready to stand strong" against--um, anyone who might challenge your right to own a stupid knife emblazoned with the name of your Dear Leader, I guess.

At first, I could understand why the tv was tuned to this particular channel on this particular day- it's the Saturday before the inaugural, and plenty of bloated, middle-aged white people with hard faces and empty heads were exiting from aircraft to spend a few days in a city they can't stand Because Reasons.  But then I thought-- wait a minute.  Don't restaurants at airport gates generally cater to DEPARTING flyers waiting for their flights to board?  What percentage of people taking in any of the amenities at an airport are already at their destination?  Who hangs around an airport after landing?  It seems to me that PF Changs was providing right-wing media trash for an audience that simply didn't exist.  

At any rate, my cold little heart was warmed a little bit at the news that the outdoor festivities have been cancelled due to impending bad weather- a Democrat Plot, no doubt, as the last time the weather forced an inauguration indoors was in January, 1985 when another great Republican was about to take his second oath of office.  Poor, poor MAGA- whatever will they do without the opportunity to show their Orange Mussolini how much they love him by waving flags and signs on the mall?  It's not like this crowd is interested in touring the Smithsonian, after all.

On second thought, I'm kind of sorry that the entire thing was moved indoors- it seems to me that Real Patriots like Trump America could have just toughed it out against the elements, keeping themselves warm by burning books in trash cans just like their philosophical forbearers did.  Or just huddled in one giant mass of the Proudly Unvaccinated to start another COVID spike.  Either way- Mr. Trump, please veto the figurative snowflakes who think that actual snowflakes should stand in the way of MAGA nation showing its pride and sharing its germs.  Our nation's collective IQ will rise slightly, and absolutely nothing of value will be lost.