Sunday, January 12, 2025

Pizza Hut's Absolutely Awful Pizza Delivery Commercial

 


Imagine being this delivery guy.  It's the NFL playoffs, which means it's a uniquely busy time at your place of work, which by the way will pay you your contracted rate if there's a lot to do and fire you as soon as business slacks off.  At any rate, you aren't watching the playoffs from the comfort of YOUR couch.  Not when there are pizzas to be delivered to douchenozzles like the guys in this ad.

So you get to your next delivery stop, and ring the bell while holding a stack of rapidly-cooling pizza and wings.  Nobody comes to the door.  You look inside, and you see two guys sitting in a huge living room watching a high-end HD TV, apparently engaged in some kind of conversation instead of just getting their delivery.  You ring the bell again.  The two choads on the couch keep talking; just because they pulled out an iPhone and opened an app and purchased thirty or forty bucks worth of pizza and wings doesn't mean that taking possession of that "food" is a priority.  

So you just stand there, wondering if you've been punked or are at the wrong address.  Presumably, they finally come to the door and may or not reward you with a tip and actual eye contact, but don't think for one moment that they are going to apologize for throwing you off schedule and making the next five stops on the route late and decorated by Karens who insist on discounts because their "food" is cold and will absolutely stiff you on that tip you kind of need to survive.  Before you head home to the Basement Efficiency you share with two of your co-workers. 

But it's all good because two jackasses in a suburban mansion too good to get off their damned couch to answer the door, let alone actually go out and get the food themselves, wanted to have a MENSA meeting over pizza or something.  This is just gross. 

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