During the at least fifty percent of the four hour Commercial Marathon With Brief Interruptions to Show a Football Game for Some Reason I will be wearing my air pods and will have my workout mix ready to go. I'll be watching and listening to that actual sporting event that doesn't involve inserting Product Brain Worms through overproduced visuals and familiar names placed in intensely unfunny situations marginally connected to a fast food chain or insurance company, but when the ads start, I'll be cranking this mix up and heading outside for a six-minute walk.
Hear that, Taco Bell, State Farm, Budweiser and whatever studio is getting ready to dump the next $300 million blockbuster in to the dying theater industry? You've lost me before you've even started. I'll probably comment on several of your ads later, but I won't be watching when you want me to- when you are dropping your eight-figure investment into the most depressing Sunday evening of the entire year that doesn't include a Yankee World Series Win.
Oh, and this goes for the obligatory "Jesus Gets You" commercial. Jesus doesn't get me. I'm too fast for Jesus.
(Go Eagles. Please.)
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