Highly Stupid Chevy Commercial

So is this a scene deleted from Saw, or what?

I like how these guys, who have just been caged and threatened by a lunatic, are instantly distracted by the "manly" Chevy truck.  Wow, talk about ADD.  "Sure you forced me into a cage and threatened me with being eaten by a grizzly for no reason I can comprehend, but man check out that shiny truck! That's manly!"

I don't want to know what's "manly" about this truck.  I just want to know that the very first thing these guys did with it was run over the smarmy psychopath who subjected them to this experience.

Not only is this ad not funny, it does nothing to make me want to buy the product being advertised, which I kind of thought was the whole freaking point of advertising in the first place.  All it makes me want to do is punch someone in the face.  And then maybe toss them into a steel cage.  With a grizzly bear.

The Value of Pointless Spending

This is why your kids' schools are falling apart.

And why your Social Security payments aren't certain to be there when you retire.

And why the deficit is so high.

And why we "can't afford" to rebuild our crumbling infrastructure.

And why we "can't afford" the kind of high-speed rail that exists in other countries- including countries that were reduced to rubble seventy years ago, one by atomic bombs.  Including countries that were once run by Never Get Anything Done Commies.

Because we have to buy showy, ridiculously expensive crap like this instead.

Both of these grinning idiots need to be beaten to death, right now

Hashtag just being honest.  Hashtag I hate the 21st century.  Hashtag the sooner the whole Hashtag thing is over the better.   Hashtag bite me, Honda.

Here's a News Flash for this whiny insurance user....

Nobody cares if you are "the poster child for paying your premiums on time."  That's what you are supposed to do.  Paying bills on time is a prerequisite for getting service without interruption.  This woman sounds like people who pay their premiums when they are due are worthy of special consideration.  She reminds me of students who think that they are entitled to a high grade because they have a good attendance record.  Um, no.

Then the commercial actually gets funny.  This woman segues from her pointless "people who pay their premiums on time are amazing" intro to express shock and disgust that insurance companies react to an accident by- get this- jacking up your rates!  OHMIGOSH, really?  Has the President been notified?

Her wide-eyed astonishment is downright funny here.  Um, this is what insurance companies DO, lady.  They take premiums and deliver "security" in return- and they have a captive audience, because if you own a car, you MUST buy insurance for it.  As long as you continue to pay and don't have a claim, they'll adore you, and they'll show how much by sending you a birthday card with your agent's business card stapled on the inside.  "Tap a bumper" and file a claim?  Now you've broken a covenant with that agent (how could you? He sent you a birthday card!!)  Now you are costing that insurance company money.  Maybe this particular company will provide "accident forgiveness" and not raise your rates the first time (especially if you just "tap someone's bumper") but don't expect that to keep up.  Those massive buildings and these commercials aren't free, you know.

Here's a tip to this stupid lady and all the other stupid people in these stupid commercials- if you "tap someone's bumper" or someone else taps your bumper,  just take your car to a mechanic and pay for it to get fixed.  Or just leave a dent in your bumper.  Save your insurance claims for the big accidents- you know, the ones that will get your rates raised or your insurance cancelled.  By the guy who sent you that nice birthday card.

What's the "Hidden Message" in this Walmart ad?

A commentator on YouTube suggests that there is a "hidden message" in this commercial.  I don't think the message is hidden.  I think it's pretty obvious.  The message is "this package from Walmart gives you the freedom to jabber away like a witless, cell phone-addicted idiot and that's a good thing."  Nothing hidden about it.

Oh, she's a black woman married to a white guy?  Is that what he's talking about?  So he thinks the hidden message is "mixed marriages are bad because they lead to shopping at Walmart and spending every waking moment yakking away like an obnoxious moron and thinking 'I can do this all day' is a GOOD thing?"  Seems kind of obscure.

Our Awesome Future, provided by Verizon....

These two women have gotten together for movie night, but because the host's internet connection is so slow, the movie won't load and they are reduced to painful, awkward, terribly uncomfortable attempts to make small talk while playing Scrabble.

Wow, they must be such great friends.  With no movie on a giant screen to distract them, they have no real clue what to do with themselves.  A game like Scrabble might have been fun and educational for their parents, but we've got Connectivity now- or, at least, we're supposed to.  And just talking over coffee or a few glasses of wine?  Maybe that worked as a regular weekly thing once- but hey, now it's all about TV TV TV.

I'm going to assume that this woman's internet connect is really bad, because neither of them are retreating to their laptops or even phones.   So they are trapped in this terrible situation, with absolutely nothing to break the agony because oh my god the electronics have failed us.  It's like they are two hunter-gatherers sitting around a fire after taking down a mammoth.  Except that the hunter-gatherers had stuff to talk about, of course- boring stuff that didn't involve downloading, the losers.

Giving up any idea that these women might just forget the damn tv and just start chatting (TO EACHOTHER, IN PERSON,) wouldn't popping in a DVD at least partially solve this problem?  Or how about going OUT to see a movie?  I know it means going outside, but as long as you can't really stand to just BE together, wouldn't it be better than this?

Ok, who is the most insane person in this ad?

1.  Is it the younger woman, who lives in a house so filthy, and is so determined to hide that fact from Evil Mother In Law Cliche, that she spends an afternoon spraying the hell out of it with Febreze?  I mean, sure the house might not stink anymore, but isn't anyone going to notice how damp the pillows and curtains are?

2. Or is it Evil Never Satisfied Mother In Law Cliche, who proceeds to have a religious experience upon entering the Febreze-soaked house....and then attempts to consume the couch and drapes with her nose?  Ick- I mean, what the hell is that all about?

Dear first woman- you need to either keep your house clean (by which I mean, divide the cleaning chores up between yourself, your husband, and your kids) by actually CLEANING, because guess what?  Roaches don't care about Febreze.  And all you are teaching your family here (besides that mom is scared of Mom-in-Law) is that smelling clean is just as good as being clean.  Not a great message.

Dear second woman-- oh, never mind.  You're a lost cause.  Mom is pathetic, but Mom-in-Law....you're just gross.