This monstrosity weighs in at more than 1400 calories, more than one-third of which come from FAT. So if Erin "earned" this, she must have done something terribly, terribly wrong offscreen.
We know enough about the psychological and physical impact of fat-laden foods to realize that Erin is very likely to feel bloated and exhausted- if not downright depressed- after consuming this greasy pile of junk from Checker's. So what "Mother Crunching" thing did you do to deserve this, Erin?
Eugene Levy is playing a Boomer here and he is, in fact, a Boomer, born at the very end of 1946.
And that's where the Realism of this ad ends.
Eugene Levy is worth $20 million. I really don't see him being all that concerned with the price of automobiles and, at 75, he's probably about as familiar with all the options that come with today's cars as a turtle is about 5G. It would make about as much sense for his daughter to seek advice from that turtle about how to go about picking out a new car than it does about her asking a guy who was born during the Truman Administration.
Speaking of that daughter- that's a pretty substantial house she seems to be living in. There's pretty solid evidence here that she kind of knows what she's doing. She's thirty-five years old and she's living on her own. She can probably manage to buy a freaking car. Especially since she's Sarah Levy, a successful actor in her own right. So really- this is kind of dumb. Which, considering how I usually view commercials, is actually pretty high praise.
You'd think that maybe the second or third time this jackass treated his female friend like she's a mentally ill child who can't quite grasp the concept of being able to change channels using a remote that woman would simply get up and walk out, or at least tell him to Shut The F--k Up because this ability has existed since the 1980s at least. Instead, she sits there with her mouth slightly open as if that's the orifice she takes in entertainment with, so maybe he just knows her well enough to realize that this really is the proper way to explain the concept to her.
So we get Serena Williams in a Wonder Woman outfit hitting tennis balls, because this is amusing to the YouTube mouth-breathers who may or may not be related to the woman in this ad. She finds this astonishing, which, again...yeah, I take back my criticism of the way this guy talked to his female friend. Tomorrow he'll be explaining to her how toast works.
Deep-fried chicken AND Macaroni and Cheese AND oily biscuits AND French Fries? You got a serious death wish there, buddy!!
Eight pieces of chicken: At least 2800 calories.
Macaroni and Cheese side: 560 calories.
4 biscuits: 720 calories.
French Fries: 800 calories.
Total= approximately 5000 calories. Assuming that this "meal" is supposed to be for four people (and that's a very generous assumption) that's half a day's suggested requirement for an adult male in a single meal. Never mind the sodium and cholesterol counts, which I'd look up except that I just finished seven and a half hours in a car to get back to the area from Thanksgiving break and I need a nap.
The first dozen times I was hit over the head with this stupid one-obvious-joke frying pan of an ad I had the horrible sinking feeling that if I went over to YouTube I would find that thousands of my fellow countrymen just thought it was THE FUNNIEST BEST COMMERCIAL EVER LOL CAUSE IT GOT A CAT AND I LOVE CAT I HAVE CAT followed by 200 idiot cat owners (oh excuse me, cat servants in the blubbering language of the cat person) taking any opportunity that presents itself to gush about their own cats.
And, sure enough, I found exactly that- a long line of drooling, bottom-feeding idiots trying to outdo each other gushing about how much they love this ad. Because Cat. Because they have Cat. Because I had Husband named Walter He Dead Now (no kidding, one commenter actually went there.)
And then someone wrote "does Cat come with Truck," which set off a long stream of "I want Cat with truck" and "I went to Dealer Couldn't Find Version Comes with Cat," responded to with "Maybe Cat is Option," "Cat Should Be Option," and many more versions of "I Need Let Know I More Stupid Than You" than you can shake a stick at.
All over a dumb truck ad with a joke anyone with an IQ room temperature could see coming from two miles down the road. Seriously, people. Can we please just stop now?
The World (to be precise, the Western World, which to be fair is the only world that counts because it's the world that can afford Netflix) is on Netflix. Which is probably a big reason why the world is sedentary. And why the world is on Insulin. And why the world's average lifespan has leveled off and is actually declining for the first time in 700 years. No, Netflix can't be given all the credit. But it deserves it's share for encouraging so many of us to just sit still, doesn't it?
It's 12:59 in the afternoon, so....start drinking whiskey?
That's the recipe for a very happy Thanksgiving for some people. Some very sad, very lonely people. Let's be thankful on this day if we aren't one of them. And let's hope that if these people do have loved ones, their holiday isn't disrupted by the hard drinkers who have decided that they should start the hard liquor pouring before the first of three NFL games scheduled for the day gets underway.
