TurboTax is FREE FREE FREE... until it isn't.

 

Sigh.  It's this time of year again....

(Full Disclosure:  I have been a highly satisfied TurboTax customer for close to twenty years now.  On average I can complete my forms and send them out electronically, with Direct Deposit selected to receive my refund, inside of 30 minutes.  It really helps when you don't own anything.) 

TurboTax is FREE.  It's FREE.  It's FREE.  Unless, of course, you want to file electronically, or you want to file your State form along with your Federal form, or if you want any guarantee of accuracy from TurboTax, or if you want to use Direct Deposit to get your refund.  If you don't care about any of that, then yes, there is a version of TurboTax that is FREE.  Do I have to add that I really, really don't recommend that version AT ALL?

It costs me about $100 to file both State and Federal taxes with TurboTax, and I have never had an issue with the IRS, and I've received my refund very quickly- once, only three days after official Approval.  So again, I have ZERO problem with TurboTax itself.  But these "do it for free" ads which pop up every. Single. January. are not particularly honest.  Simply put, you get what you pay for. And when it comes to something like taxes, it's worth a small investment to do it right.  

MassMutual suggests this guy's family is out to get him, but wants to check some boxes off first...

 

Well, I suppose the FIRST thing that would happen if these ridiculous ghouls get their obvious wish and the breadwinner of the family is injured and has to miss work is....they have to go out and get jobs to keep the mortgage payments on that ridiculous house current.  Seriously, I see at least three potential paychecks here other than this guy being hounded to do something before he inevitably gets injured (or gets scurvy.)  And if their combined efforts can't keep that house, well, they are living beyond their means and I really don't care.   And neither should he.  

Tom Brady wont' be there to bail you out when the bubble bursts, Crypto-Idiots!

 

The radio version of these stupid Crypto Scam ads starts with "everyone is getting into crypto!  Are you?" which makes negative sense to even ask; if "everyone" is getting into crypto, doesn't that mean that I'm getting into crypto By Definition?  Or is that ad actually asking me if I am not part of the set of people which includes "everyone?"

In this particular commercial we are told that Tom Brady and his wife- sitting in one of their ridiculous palaces, with more money than they could possibly spend- are "in" on putting a sliver of their vast fortune into an imaginary non-asset whose value is entirely built on hype well mixed with confusion and greed.  Which is just fine for Tom Brady, who won't even notice the next time Bitcoin drops from $50000 per unit to $30000 because Elon Musk accidentally drops a truth bomb on late-night TV, but might be a bit more impactful for one of the millions of stupid knobs who move their retirement funds into something they can't even begin to comprehend because a quarterback who owns multiple vacation homes and is married to a supermodel sort-of endorsed it in a commercial once. 

I'm not "in."  I will never be "in" until there's some semblance of regulation connected to this crypto-stupidity.  But then, what do I know about investing?  I probably would have missed out on that awesome tulip deal back in the 1630s, too. 

Chevy Silverado plays the Helicopter Dad Trope. Because we can't ever get enough of that, can we?

 

So this guy was willing to invite his daughter's boyfriend on their little trip to the Great Outdoors, but considers holding hands in the back seat "funny business?"  Jeeeeesus, buddy- you guys Jehovah's Witnesses or what?  If you are so worried about this kid that you need to use half a dozen cameras (none of which show the back seat, interestingly enough, making pointing out that you have these cameras kind of a moot point) why did you invite him along?  You DO know that this boy is your daughter's BOYFRIEND and not her BROTHER, right? 

I also notice that Mom seems to have no problem with with what is "going on" in the back seat.  See, that's because Mom is Totally Cool and sees her daughter as a daughter and not a possession, like Dads do.  As the cool kids say nowadays, this is so cringe. 

Jamie Foxx: From Oscar Winner to Addiction Enabler?

 

Way back in 2004, Jamie Foxx won an Oscar for his portrayal of the inexplicably overrated Ray Charles in the equally inexplicably overrated film Ray.   In the 17 years since that breakout performance, Foxx has starred in twenty-nine films- most of dubious quality, but many of which have been box-office smashes and combined have brought well over $2 billion in revenue, has made multiple television appearances besides this commercial, and has his own programming on Sirius/XM radio.  His net worth is currently estimated at $150 million.  

And here he is, hamming it up for a gambling app designed to make it effortless for its users to spark  and grow a gambling addiction which in 99 percent of its "customers" will lead to far more financial distress than growth.   Because someone handed him another fistful of money to throw on the already-massive pile, and Mr. Foxx clearly doesn't give a damn who suffers because they bought in to this con.

Nobody would praise MGM if it was promoting a meth addiction, but far more people lose their livelihoods every year to a gambling addiction than will ever even TRY meth.  Go to hell, MGM, and please take Jamie Foxx with you.  And btw I'd like to apologize to Shaquille O'Neal, Joe Namath, JJ Walker, George Foreman and all the other Anything For A Buck spokeschoads who lent their names to soulless hucksters, because you are all saints compared to Jamie Foxx, Ben Affleck, and anyone else who rents out their name to pitch this life-destroying crap. 

SoFi is So 21st Century America, it's almost scary

 

Sigh.

Seriously, there are so many of these stupid "dance because you can pretend to not be living on the margins of poverty" ads for the SoFi banking app, I might end up doing an entire series on them. 

Look what these people are flipping out over:  

1.  Getting their paycheck two days earlier than when they were just using their regular banking system.  Who celebrates something like this by cavorting around?  I'll tell you who:  Someone who is living paycheck to paycheck and who goes through the stress of wondering if that paycheck is going to hit their bank account before the bills do every two weeks.  

2.  Moving all of their debts to one place, Part I:  know who celebrates something like this by spinning in place and throwing their arms into the air in triumph?  I'll tell you who:  People who have so MANY bills that they spend one evening every two weeks struggling to figure out which one to pay off and which ones to pay the minimum on.  OR, struggling to figure out which ones to pay the minimum on and which ones to take a penalty for non-payment on, dinging up that already-practically-totaled credit score just a little bit more.

3.  Moving all of their debts to one place, Part II (AKA Getting a Debt Consolidation Agreement-it's a LOAN, but SoFi doesn't call it that.)  Know who reacts to being approved for a Robbing Peter to Pay Paul shell game like this by prancing around like a moron who has lost all his self-respect and (worse) wants everyone to know it?  I'll tell you who:  People who have given up living within their means and who think that writing one check for $500 per month is better than writing 11 checks totaling $490 per month because psychologically it feels like less money, and they are all about the Feels, which is why they can't manage their expenses/wants in the first place. 

SoFi is pretty much the inevitable result of the consumer culture the Boomers passed on to their children and grandchildren.  That I don't care about the plight of the idiots who use it is pretty much the inevitable result of this Boomer reaching middle age.  

 

One of those "Do It For Me" Vaccine Conversation Ads

 

Ok, I don't really want to be too critical of these ads because the heart is definitely in the right place, though I am infuriated at the idea that we need to have calm, quiet conversations to assure people that taking a vaccine that has saved millions of lives from a disease which has killed millions more is, in fact, the "right decision for me."

Here we've got a woman who is concerned about her ability to have a baby in the future.  Could the vaccine possibly effect that?  She's "heard things" that have left her confused and worried about this issue.  Not from doctors, you can be sure- but still, she's "heard things."  And here's an actual doctor to assure her that the fears she's picked up from her tag team of medical experts, Dr. Google, Dr. Tiktok and Dr. Facebook, are misplaced and that the vaccine is, in fact, safe.  

Since this "concerned" woman is pretty fixated on the reproduction issue, the nice doctor might remind her that while the vaccine will not threaten her ability to safely give birth to a healthy child, there are two other factors that may very well do so.  One is getting COVID.  The second is being morbidly obese.  (I'm sorry, but this young woman must have a BMI of at least forty.  She clearly wants to have kids.  She clearly wants to have a safe, healthy pregnancy and- I presume- to be active in the lives of her offspring.  Yes, get the vaccine.  But also, get moving and eating properly, for chrissakes.  Seriously.)