GOLO is yet another example of Expensive Nothing for Sale

 

"I've tried detox, I've tried teas, I've tried pills..." have you tried Calories In, Calories Out, Denise?  I mean, now that you've tried all the stupid get-slim-quick gimmicks, have you considered using basic thermodynamics?

That's a pretty damned substantial-looking living room you've got there, Denise.  Did you ever consider a gym membership or a personal trainer?  Don't tell me you can't afford that, Denise.  

I'm told you lost 22 pounds in six months using GOLO.  Well, isn't that something.  That's what you could have done with a modest, 500-calorie-per-day deficit.  I'm glad you've taken the weight off and kept it off, but why did you need another gimmicky program to do it?  You achieved rather slow, sensible weight loss- which is remarkably simple if you just cut out processed carbs and sugar and consume more protein and healthy fats.  And move more.  There, I just gave you an absolutely trustworthy and safe way to lose a modest amount of weight in a medically safe way, and I didn't charge you a dime.  And if you had asked, I would have told you to skip the stupid "detoxes" (they are not a thing, you have organs that came with your body that detox for you, for FREE) and teas and pills, all of which almost certainly did you more harm than good and don't come close to addressing the real issue, which is the amount and type of food you eat and the amount of work you make your body do on a daily basis. 

Don't know much about GOLO, but if it involves healthy eating habits, then go for it.  But if it does, it seems to me that this is another case of Stone Soup Syndrome- putting a fancy label on common sense behavior and then giving the label rather than the behavior all the credit for positive results.  I guess you've got the money so it doesn't matter, but I wonder about people who are influenced to put this "system" on a credit card when eating less and better, and moving more, is really all they need. 

Skyrizi is a lot of expensive, dangerous nothing

Most Americans are overweight, and a third are obese.  The favorite past time of the great majority of Americans is watching television or surfing the internet or (if they are really "ambitious," doing both at the same time. But not a single user of Skyrizi is anything short of a young, svelte athletic type* who is constantly on the goal with their mountain biking, swimming and overall just being outdoors with friends.  Is there a correlation between being healthy and active and having bad skin, or what?

Anyway, in the pursuit of ridding yourself of unslightly rashes more and more Americans with solid gold insurance plans are partaking in this extremely expensive ($30 k per year) series of injections which "may increase risk of infections and Tuberculosis" and maybe you shouldn't take if you "plan to or have recently received a vaccine" (any vaccine?  Even for the Illness that Shall Not Be Mentioned?  If you haven't received that vaccine and don't "plan to," what are you doing in the doctor's office in the first place?  Shouldn't you be ingesting horse de-wormers to rid yourself of that scaly red skin?  I bet you don't think the election of 2020 was stolen either!)

The real bottom line, though, is that I really hate this stupid song.  "Nothing is everything...I see nothing in a brand new way....I just got saved..." what the actual hell?  Get off my television already!

*ok, there is that one fat guy swinging his kid around.  He's still being very active.  Not one shot of people just enjoying clearer skin while waiting for their McDiabetes at the drive-thru or bingeing on Tiger King?

Those Bamboo HR ads....

 

Especially the ones on the radio always feature clucking idiots who, before BambooHR came around, were still keeping receipts in shoe boxes and (presumably) using an abacus to calculate payroll taxes.  Because technology didn't exist until this particular program, apparently. 

Oddly enough, the industrial age managed to give way to the internet age without missing a beat despite the lack of BambooHR, regardless of what this company wants us to think.  We had these things like electronic calculators, computers, word processing and payroll software way before BambooHR came along to save us from the avalanche of paper they would like us to imagine existed before this Amazing Thing Called Paperless Accounting was invented by BambooHR.  Funny how we missed this Renaissance in office management that just happened a few years ago and not back in the 1980s like we thought.  Memory is a weird thing, isn't it?

And I'm not even going to get into the rather blatant anti-labor messaging imbedded in ads for companies like Bamboo HR, Bambi, Indeed....they all involve the Immense Sad of being an Executive who must deal with whiny, unappreciative minions---err--employees- who demand things like decent working conditions, living wages and time off, like they don't understand the glories of Capitalism or share in the dreams of their benevolent bosses who "gave" them their jobs in the first place (because remember kids, Jobs are gifts handed out like candy to people who are supposed to be grateful for the opportunity to continue to purchase food and shelter.)  I'll save that for next time.

Those Shopify Ads....

 

I swear, every small business in the United States was started in someone's garage or a kitchen crockpot.  Either that, or the people in these Shopify commercials have zero interest in even ATTEMPTING to tell a unique, compelling story about why they started their business, let alone why I should give a flying damn. 

I mean, seriously.  You started your business in your garage, or in a kitchen crockpot.  That doesn't tell me why I should want to start a business, let alone why I should want to patronize yours.  Get over yourselves, people.  99 of the Small Businesses Built on your Dreams and supported by Spotify will not exist two years from now.  Don't care now, won't care then. 

Mark Levin and Carshield. Should've seen this coming.

 

So when this smarmy a$$clown isn't encouraging insurrections, promoting Stop the Steal BS, or trying to convince gullible mouth-breathers that Trump is the Second Coming, he's peddling Car Shield, everyone's favorite non-insurance that promises to Cover all Covered parts and Covered labor Just Don't Ask what's Covered until you sign up and give us your credit card number.  Why am I not surprised?  

Want to "take advantage" of this "limited offer?"  But hurry, because this "opportunity" to get "coverage" is only available "during the current decline in the economy" which, if you've paid attention, has been going on for as long as CarShield has been ripping people off.  Which is to say, as long as CarShield has been in existence.  Just like Mark Levin has been a conspiracy-peddling, lying creep for as long as he's been on the radio.  Yeah, these two totally belong together. 

Trulicity: Because the concept of controlling your diet is soooo Fatphobic!

 

1.  "Trulicity should not be your first medication for Type 2 diabetes."  Translation:  "This drug should be your last resort, after you've refused to sensibly restrict your diet to assist that much less dangerous but less invasive drug your exasperated doctor put you on in the first place- which, by the way, he did after you refused to take your health seriously and sensibly restrict your diet.  If it sounds like we're going in circles, well, your doctor feels the same way."

2.  "Do not take if you are allergic to Trulicity."  No S--t, Sherlock. 

Optima Tax Relief: Eric's (very familiar) Story

 

Eric's story is one that could happen to any of us who fail to pay our fair share.  Let's all root for Eric and hope he gets the "relief" that he "deserves."

Fifteen seconds in-- "I tried to make payments..." Yeah, we've all heard this from people who owe money:  "I wanted to pay it back, I tried to save the money, I intended to cut you a check, I was waiting for my tax return..." blah blah blah, as if Stated Intentions paid the bills.  It's remarkably easy to make payment plans, to write down a budget, to set up a Schedule- but when it comes to actually parting with your money, you found that more difficult, didn't you, Eric?  And the mean old IRS didn't seem willing to take into account that you had all these great intensions.  Because they're mean.

"The IRS wasn't satisfied with Eric's efforts..." any more than my landlady would be satisfied with my "efforts" to pay the rent if they didn't result in....the rent getting paid.  Funny how that works.

"They're putting a lien on my home, my income..." yes, Eric.  That's what happens when you take the money you are supposed to be using to pay your taxes to buy other stuff instead.  If you won't pay voluntarily, the money needs to be taken involuntarily.  This is called Life, Eric.  Not quite sure why it seems so threatening and arbitrary to you.  

"Optima Tax Relief is A+ rated by the Better Business Bureau."  The BBB is not a government agency.  It's a rating service that depends on advertisement, the Chamber of Commerce, and ignorance to be taken as a valuable gauge of trustworthiness.  I'm constantly amazed at how many people think that it's some kind of official, nonpartisan, nonbiased judge of good business practices.  I care about as much about the BBB's rating of any company as I do about how many stars another company has on Yahoo Reviews.  They are equally trustworthy. 

So I guess that in the end, Optima Tax Relief got Eric out from under the burden he created for himself, so Eric can go right back to being a scofflaw living off his neighbors- who, I presume, are actual taxpayers- until he finds himself the "victim" of the IRS once again.  Another happy ending, right?