Monday, September 5, 2022
A brief take on this Babbel Commercial
Sunday, September 4, 2022
Selling Out + Applebees: You Ain't Seen 'Nothin Yet
Saturday, September 3, 2022
Applebee's, Robert Palmer, and there's no telling where the money went....
Come the 23rd of this month, Robert Palmer will have been dead for twenty years.* We can miss him while at the same time being grateful that he did not live to see one of his most iconic songs being used to sell bowls of warm carbohydrates and fat sprinkled with flavorless vegetables to people who want a dining experience somewhere between McDonald's and Ruth's Chris. A song about a guy who realizes that a girl he once barely noticed is now someone he cannot live without because she is Simply Irresistible.
Here's a clue: if you ever find the blandness of Applebee's (heck, they don't even have big screen tvs- you can eat exactly the same food AND be distracted by a football game if you just go to Buffalo Wild Wings) "simply irresistible," I suggest you seek therapy. Or consider a Taste Implant. Or just admit that you were raised in a lily-white suburb by a society that taught you to view restaurants like Applebee's as the affordable way to eat out using actual utensils.
*so where did the royalty money go? His heirs, or the people who bought the rights to Mr. Palmer's songs from those heirs? I don't really care, but there is some comfort in knowing that Palmer himself didn't sell out.
Friday, September 2, 2022
My Quick Answer To Pizza Hut's Stupid Question
Sunday, August 28, 2022
This Universally Hated Verizon Commercial....
Saturday, August 27, 2022
Picking on Dominos some more: the ultimate in First World Struggles
Friday, August 26, 2022
A little friendly advice to Stacy- and Dominos
Stacy: Maybe stop envisioning Dominos pizza as a viable food choice for a while. Maybe get more fruits, veggies and protein and less starch, sugar, and such-wise empty carbs. Because, I'm sorry, but in your own language, Stacy girl you ain't lookin' too good. That pizza you had last night is not your friend. That pizza you are heating up to eat today is not your friend. Preparing healthy food and cooking for yourself is hard. Diabetes is also hard. Choose your Hard.
Dominos: Could you stop being Stacy's drug dealer, please? I know the delivery guy is not a therapist- heck, he's probably not even a Life Coach although I can't be certain because there are approximately as many Life Coaches out there as there are Amazon delivery drivers and I'd go to the latter for advice before the former. But he's got to see that he's delivering disease and death to this woman every time he rings the bell. Maybe stop trying to find ways to make it easier for Stacy to access your piles of cheap, warm junk for a while? Maybe stop being part of a big problem for Stacy and approximately half of the population of the United States for just a LITTLE WHILE?