Apparently, "Being Professional" means nothing more than "having a job" or even simply "being human."
Hey, guess what? I can do this without LinkedIn. Now, how do I go about convincing LinkedIn of this?
But from LinkedIn's point of view, "Being Professional" also means remaining tied to LinkedIn even if you aren't looking for a job or seeking help. It means getting endless Emails urging you to check out who is looking you up, what everyone else is doing, and in short using a "service" you don't really need and aren't at all interested in using because you're already employed, don't need the ads, or simply Have a Life. A life in which too much time is spent trying to Unsubscribe from LinkedIn.
Sorry, but I'm not interested in spending several minutes every day Congratulating people I haven't seen or heard from in years for their Anniversary at Their Latest Address That Pays Them. Call me distant, but I just don't care if someone I worked with, taught, or knew casually twenty years ago posted something about something that has nothing to do with me. I don't need LinkedIn cluttering my inbox with notices that this or that person has done this or that thing at this or that company. I'm simply. Not. Interested. Because I simply. Don't. Care.
But again- good luck Unsubscribing. It ain't happening. The Facebook of Capitalism will never let you go. So remember this person? They posted an update. Go check it out. NOW.
This guy has been offering very high-interest loans ("usury" is a slur and judgment call, not a legal term- at least, not on the federal level- and state usury laws are ridiculously generous to lenders and hard on borrowers. Pennsylvania and New Jersey define "usurious" rates at above THIRTY PERCENT. Nevada has NO LIMITS AT ALL on interest rates for personal loans) for more than a decade, and he's currently polluting the airwaves by claiming that people "better" know him as "The Godfather of Credit." Which is kind of telling when you remember that "The Godfather" is a term given to the patriarch of a massive criminal cartel.
Apparently, this guy has been offering desperate/stupid people barely-legal lines of credit in exchange for high interest payments, fees, etc. etc.- fans of Dickens will think The Anglo-Bengalee Disinterested Life Assurance Company in Martin Chuzzlewit. He's a Lender of Last Resort- when the customer doesn't have anything of value to pawn but still considers himself a budding Small Businessman who just Needs a Break.
The people who fall into this net will get less than they were promised (in exchange for up-front fees, no doubt) at a rate higher than they were offered over the phone (but not in writing.) Just like those "warranty companies" that cold-call, it's all about getting access to the CUSTOMER'S bank information or credit card. The promises made by the company? If they aren't in writing, they don't exist. It's why the common denominator for all of these "offers" is that you never get a contract until AFTER you've signed up. Because that's how business is done legitimately, right?
*to be fair, after twenty years as a subscriber, I hardly needed more evidence that Sirius/XM will provide advertising for any person or company willing to pay for advertising. Just off the top of my head, here is a list of "companies" I've heard advertised on Sirius/XM since 2004:
Blue Hippo (remember those super-cheap computers with FREE printers people paid $30 a week for but never actually received?
Ronnie Deutsch "Legal Services."
TaxMasters "Legal Services." I think that guy- who looked suspiciously like Ray Reynolds- ended up doing jail time.
Ox Car Care and I've Lost Count of How Many Other "Car Warranty Services."
Home Repair "Warranties."
California Psychics.
Any number of "Credit Repair" companies.
Any number of "Get out of your Time Share" offers.
An almost infinite number of "Skip out of your completely legitimate tax debt" offers.
Big Lou and any number of "Term Life Insurance" offers.
Prevagen and other non-medicines.
Headhunter and other payroll and HR "services" geared at convincing small business owners that they need help dealing with Awful Awful Regulation and Evil Evil Unions.
"Tribute Proofs" pretending to be coins.
"Start a Computer Career" non-offers to train people for non-jobs.
Etc. etc. etc. I suspect that more than half of the ads I hear on Sirius/XM are scams. Hurrah for Free Speech, right?
The most unintentionally funny part of the radio ads is when we hear a guy say "my mechanic recommended Ox Car Care." Why is this line so funny?
1. Why would a mechanic recommend any car warranty at all? Mechanics- like any other provider of services- like to deal directly with customers. Why would any recommend a middle man? Do mechanics LIKE additional paperwork? How is this better than getting handed a credit card by the customer to pay for the repair?
2. Why would a mechanic recommend OX CAR CARE? Do mechanics like having to go back to customers to say "sorry, that work I did for you will not be covered by this non-insurance insurance?" Do they LIKE having repaired cars sitting in their lot? Do they LIKE not getting paid for work done, unable to pay for parts and labor because a scammy warranty "service" and the customer keep insisting that the other is responsible? Now imagine being the mechanic who recommended Ox Car Care- how do you then turn around and insist that the customer pay for a repair that is not covered by the COMPANY YOU RECOMMENDED?
Oh wait, maybe you own a big lot and your real business is charging storage fees? Maybe this conspiracy is deeper than I thought?
Most of the commercials I review simply Shouldn't Be. Because they are dumb and don't actually "sell" anything. They just waste time and burn brain cells and make us all a little bit more stupid. Beyond that, they are pretty harmless.
What's different about these E*TRADE Baby Commercials is not only that they Shouldn't Be, but that they Shouldn't Be Legal. The children being digitally superimposed over CGI can't consent to the use of their images. They don't agree to being made laughing stocks for the economic benefit of their parents. They don't consent to have thoughts they don't have about a subject they can't comprehend be attributed to their images. In short, they are being exploited. I'm pretty sure that there's a word for this.
As to the glue-sniffers who enjoy this garbage; I have nothing for you but contempt. Get a life.
One shot a week,* plus diet and exercise, and you can lose 20 lbs. in six months.
One stone in the pot, plus water, vegetables, and a little meat, will make a great soup.
One rabbit's foot, plus careful planning and caution, will prevent accidents and bring "good luck."
I could go on. I don't think I have to.
*there's something in the small print about the "impact on humans" being "unknown." I'm assuming it's talked about the drug contained in the once-a-week injection, because the impact of diet and exercise on the body has been well-known for quite some time.
These people aren't afraid of the "F" word, and their hatred of the "F" word is misplaced.
What they fear and hate is the "R" word- Responsibility. Also the "O" word- Obligation.
They worship the "V" word- Victimhood. And the "D" word- Deflection.
These people think it's cruel and unfair that they are expected to live up to the terms of signed contracts d to pay a certain amount of money each month for a certain number of years, at the end of which they would own those big beautiful homes that they gladly moved into. They snap like starving bass at any company that will call them victims of "Predatory Lenders" because sure they were legal adults but that print was really really small and that house looked so nice and all they wanted was to live the American Dream plus they Deserve It Because Reasons.
Having proven themselves easily-manipulated victims of their own gullibility, the LoanMod Hotline looks like a super-attractive way of escaping the legal agreements they freely entered into as a way of keeping the houses they never could really afford.
Oh, and what is "something that they can afford?" It's another "R" word - "Rent"- that of course was not good enough for them because They Deserve Better, again Because Reasons.
The dystopian universe in which this unassuming donut shop exists includes a small business that is so successful in its sale of a 100 percent unnecessary, at least 90 percent unhealthy product that people are lined up around the block to purchase. A successful business that nonetheless has zero relationship with an actual bank and has to go to some sketchy online-only loan company to get some extra operating cash.
A business that is successful despite the fact that it appears to be operated by two total schmucks too cheap to even hire cashiers so they can tend to the more important operations. Yeah, the co-owners of the company are handling the transfer of goods to the public; sure, that's how it works. And interrupting the sales to apply for a loan. Because Brains and Time-Management Skills are not needed in this universe.
Except for the broken glass and possibly injured customers, its hard to see how OnDeck can beat the "Loan Falcon," which flies in to drop money without even getting a signature on a contract in return. If the money is right, I'll clean up the glass, and it really doesn't look like anyone got hurt, so no harm done in that regard- I'm picking Loan Falcon to drop free money on me. Heck, I'll take Loan Falcon over a legitimate BANK loan. Who wouldn't? Maybe these two idiots, because they are from the generation that thinks if it isn't provided through the tapping of a screen on a phone or at least a tablet, it's Your Grandfather's loan options and totally lame, yo.
