This Allstate "Switch" Commercial is just....weird....

 

I mean, come on.  What is going on here?

If a total stranger sits down next to me while I'm eating an ice cream cone and offers me $574 to trade cones, I can tell you two things:  First, I am not touching the cone the total stranger gave me- never mind HER tossing away MY cone, I'm beating her to it by quickly disposing of the cone she gave ME.  Second, I am not listening to any more of what I'm going to assume is a pitch from a cult or a Multi-Level Marketing scheme until I see my money.  

Unlike this guy, who seems to instantly forget all about that $574 and seems perfectly satisfied to have switched cones with the total stranger who sat down next to him and is now pitching him insurance of some sort.  This guy is a cult member's/Herbalife distributor's wet dream.  He's on board with learning about Allstate and never mind that the person he's getting the pitch from has already proven her unreliability by not producing the $574 promised for the ice cream trade.  

The Wendy's Frosty- for a few extra cents, can I get a damn lid on this thing?

 

I'm seriously creeped out by the lack of lids anywhere in this ad- so even if you buy one of these things at the drive-through window, a lid is not included?  So basically it's dirty before you can take your first sip (getting it all over your mouth, as apparently a straw is not included in that one-dollar price, either....)

"What?  It's ONLY a DOLLAR?  Why am I limiting myself to just ONE A DAY, then?  I mean, sure it's 350 calories for a few slurps of chocolate-flavored chemicals, but it's ONLY A DOLLAR!  Serve them for breakfast too, Wendy's!  I can worry about diabetes later!"

A few quick points concerning this racist "Receipts" YouTube Show....

 

1.  The host, Quincy Brown, says he's also known as "Q Side B Side."  I'm willing to bet real money that he's "also known" that only by himself and a few hangers-on.  Seriously, buddy, I have never heard of you, and after watching barely a minute of this insulting wall of noise I'm quite good with never hearing anything more of you again.

2.  Around the first minute of this program, we realize that this is basically a racist's fever dream.  The way these people act is exactly how racist whites expect black people to act.  So watch this "fun" show, allegedly sponsored by Walmart, and see media images of black people as your grandparents did.  

3.  Do the YouTube Math:

a)  this channel has 3.1 million subscribers.

b)  this particular post has 3.7 million views in the ten months since it was posted.

c)  this channel with 3.1 million subscribers and 3.7 million views has generated 24,000 responses...

d)  and 20 comments.  That's Twenty.  Not even 20k, which would be tiny.  Twenty.  

All of which means that the subscriber number is fake, the views number is fake, and probably the response number is also fake.  Well, at least that restores some of my faith in humanity.  

Meanwhile, Walmart, if you really do have anything to do with this....just, why?  Is it because only 11 percent of your customer base is black, compared to 74% that is white- in other words, you just don't give a damn?  Please, explain.

Move Fansville to a streaming service...

 

...so I don't have to be subjected to the seventh "season" of a long-running "joke" that everyone with two brain cells to rub together stopped finding even remotely amusing at least six years ago. 

In other words, Enough Already.  If there really are people who look forward to these little snippets of dumb, let them pay a subscription fee to watch it and stop interrupting my football viewing with (apparently) endless "dramas" about football-and-crappy-soda-obsessed lunatics living in Stupidville USA.  Hulu, etc. are starting to strip networks of games already- these ads should be part of the package.  

Seems like a necessary post in response to an unnecessary ad

 

...being that it's Labor Day and all....

Yes, you could adopt Paycom and farm out work you are supposed to be doing to your employees (they aren't busy enough doing the work they are already contracted to do, of course.)  OR, you could learn to manage your time and create that magical Work/Life balance that does not mean half-assing your way through either.

Some people see a guy working when he's supposed to be with his family as the kind of Go-Getter who Made This Nation Great, a guy know Knows How To Hustle and has his Nose to the Grindstone and any number of stupid cliche's invented by Capitalism to convince us all that Life IS Work.  I look at people like this and think "disorganized," not to mention "selfish"- seriously, buddy, if you are devoted to your job 24/7, you have no business being married, let alone being a dad. 

Either way, handing off your responsibilities to your employees is no more ethical than handing them off to freelance drones in Pakistani call centers.  Do your own work, or don't- and suffer the consequences.  But get your act together.  Life is too short for this crap.

A good response to the girl in this Capital One Credit Card Commercial ad

 

"What do you do when you're NOT being the Capital One Credit Card guy?"

"Um, I'm a commercial actor.  I act in commercials.  Having answered your inane question, here's one for you: Other than ask commercial actors for selfies, what do you do in your life that is so shallow and meaningless that you feel getting a selfie with a commercial actor and asking about his private life is a worthwhile use of your time?"

Target's "Shark" back-to-school ad is painfully familiar

 

Hey look, it's another Smarmy Kid Lecturing His Parents on what he needs to be Cool for School ad.  I think that makes pretty much all of them. 

I do think that the anger expressed at the little brat is misdirected, however.  Yes, the kid has a very punchable face and his "hey lame parents, let me explain something to you in words even you can understand" condescension is grating, but let's remember that he's just reading lines fed to him by someone else and he's being exploited by his actual parents, who will be taking care of the royalties.  Chances are this kid will have a moment of stardom in his little community that will quickly fade away and we'll never see or hear from him again.  And the money from this ad will not exist by the time he's ready for college and could use it.  Maybe to buy a backpack with sharks on it.