Volkswagen brings Fail to a whole new level

Ok, forget the disgusting antics of these women attempting to pick up a guy half their age in a Volkswagen dealership by bleating lame innuendo that, if uttered by a guy at a bar, would get a drink thrown into his face. Once again I could point out that if you reverse the roles here and feature three old men tossing sleazy lines at a young female seller this ad probably gets rejected during production and never sees the light of day.  Because, you know, it's 2015.

Because the lines are being put into the mouths of elderly women, and are being directed at a guy who works at the dealership, it's not only stupid, but also very confusing- aren't these women customers?  Then why are they trying to sell the car instead of letting the salesman do that?

I could do an entire second post on all this, but I'm not going to bother.  I'm way too interested in getting an answer to just one question:

Why are elderly women, children, and animals ever used to sell anything that is not specifically geared to elderly women, children, or animals?  I just don't get it, and I never have.

A peak into Toyota's Fantasy Showroom

I'm certain that if it could, Toyota would gladly swap out all of it's actual human salespeople- who, after all, get sick every once in a while, have to take coffee and bathrooom breaks, and engage in all of those other Not Pimping Cars With A Huge Fake Smile On their Faces activities- with holograms of chirpy idiot Jan Forever OD'ng on Starbucks, Five Hour Energy, Red Bull and Speed.  In fact, that's apparently what happened in this TV Land Toyota- Virtual Reality Jan gets to do all the work, and everyone who used to work here got shown the door.

I bet actual car salespeople really appreciate these commercials, and car commercials in general which always show drooling, super-eager customers who are blown away by every little buzzer and gadget and who are never really being talked into buying a car, just being shown the one that happens to be closest to the entrance so they can swoon for a few moments before pulling out their wallets.   Ads which made being a car salesman look like the easiest job on the planet were bad enough.  Ads which show the job being done by a lunatic with nothing more to do than escort customers across the room to The Perfect Car 'Cause Look Its Got WiFi have to be a thousand times worse.

What cave did this woman grow up in?

Sometimes, I can't get past one line in an ad.  Here's the line I can't get past this time:  "A sleeping cream.  That's a new one."

Um, seriously?  Cream you apply to your skin at night is "a new one" for this woman?  Um, whatever.  I suspect that later in the day, she stared at amazement at cheese being added to hamburgers and chocolate sauce being added to ice cream.

I mean, really- where has this woman and her smashed-with-a-frying-pan sleepy-eyed face* been for the last several hundred years?  CLEOPATRA applied cream to her face for crissakes.

*what is with her face?  Is she supposed to be attractive?  Because I don't see it.

Highly Stupid Chevy Commercial

So is this a scene deleted from Saw, or what?

I like how these guys, who have just been caged and threatened by a lunatic, are instantly distracted by the "manly" Chevy truck.  Wow, talk about ADD.  "Sure you forced me into a cage and threatened me with being eaten by a grizzly for no reason I can comprehend, but man check out that shiny truck! That's manly!"

I don't want to know what's "manly" about this truck.  I just want to know that the very first thing these guys did with it was run over the smarmy psychopath who subjected them to this experience.

Not only is this ad not funny, it does nothing to make me want to buy the product being advertised, which I kind of thought was the whole freaking point of advertising in the first place.  All it makes me want to do is punch someone in the face.  And then maybe toss them into a steel cage.  With a grizzly bear.

The Value of Pointless Spending

This is why your kids' schools are falling apart.

And why your Social Security payments aren't certain to be there when you retire.

And why the deficit is so high.

And why we "can't afford" to rebuild our crumbling infrastructure.

And why we "can't afford" the kind of high-speed rail that exists in other countries- including countries that were reduced to rubble seventy years ago, one by atomic bombs.  Including countries that were once run by Never Get Anything Done Commies.

Because we have to buy showy, ridiculously expensive crap like this instead.

Both of these grinning idiots need to be beaten to death, right now

Hashtag just being honest.  Hashtag I hate the 21st century.  Hashtag the sooner the whole Hashtag thing is over the better.   Hashtag bite me, Honda.

Here's a News Flash for this whiny insurance user....

Nobody cares if you are "the poster child for paying your premiums on time."  That's what you are supposed to do.  Paying bills on time is a prerequisite for getting service without interruption.  This woman sounds like people who pay their premiums when they are due are worthy of special consideration.  She reminds me of students who think that they are entitled to a high grade because they have a good attendance record.  Um, no.

Then the commercial actually gets funny.  This woman segues from her pointless "people who pay their premiums on time are amazing" intro to express shock and disgust that insurance companies react to an accident by- get this- jacking up your rates!  OHMIGOSH, really?  Has the President been notified?

Her wide-eyed astonishment is downright funny here.  Um, this is what insurance companies DO, lady.  They take premiums and deliver "security" in return- and they have a captive audience, because if you own a car, you MUST buy insurance for it.  As long as you continue to pay and don't have a claim, they'll adore you, and they'll show how much by sending you a birthday card with your agent's business card stapled on the inside.  "Tap a bumper" and file a claim?  Now you've broken a covenant with that agent (how could you? He sent you a birthday card!!)  Now you are costing that insurance company money.  Maybe this particular company will provide "accident forgiveness" and not raise your rates the first time (especially if you just "tap someone's bumper") but don't expect that to keep up.  Those massive buildings and these commercials aren't free, you know.

Here's a tip to this stupid lady and all the other stupid people in these stupid commercials- if you "tap someone's bumper" or someone else taps your bumper,  just take your car to a mechanic and pay for it to get fixed.  Or just leave a dent in your bumper.  Save your insurance claims for the big accidents- you know, the ones that will get your rates raised or your insurance cancelled.  By the guy who sent you that nice birthday card.