BetMGM, and your REAL Second Chance

 

Never mind Jamie Foxx excitedly telling you that it's not quite time to pull the trigger or throw that noose over the rafters just because that third-string receiver didn't score a touchdown on his third reception during his fifth game after being claimed off waivers from the Panthers; if he scores a touchdown on his FOURTH reception, your bet will be honored (presumably.  See any number of "oops sorry we can't pay out Because Reasons" stories on YouTube.  The house always wins, even when it loses.)

I have better advice- listen to that tiny bit of common sense and rationality that hasn't been consumed by instant gratification internet connections and ultra-processed empty calories, take the real second chance, and delete that app you downloaded in a moment of stupidity weakness.  Like nuclear war, the only winning move is not to play.   Sorry/not sorry to end the year as the same kind of scold I was when it started, but this is getting so much worse than I thought it ever would. 

Get into Debt Mode

 

I am old enough to remember cigarette ads which celebrated the Total Awesomeness of Smoking.  We've had commercials encouraging the overconsumption of sugar, grease and starch for more than seventy years now and they've only gotten worse as the ultra-processed non-food we are pushed to eat has just become more ultra-processed and addictive.  

And in the last decade, media has become absolutely inundated with Gambling Is Harmless Fun ads designed to convince us that one particular addiction is no more dangerous than caffeine and maybe even less dangerous than that other addiction that drives us to impulse shop or get every other meal from Taco Bell (I might lose the rent money on a botched field goal attempt, but at least it won't give me diabetes!)  There isn't a pregame show for any sporting event that isn't heavily subsidized by one gambling app or another, and there doesn't seem to be a single figure in media who isn't willing to sell his soul face and public image to pitch this destructive nonsense. 

The silver lining is that when the number of gambling addicts reaches eight digits- which should happen sometime this year- it should have a significant, beneficial impact on inflation as the amount of money in circulation dries up dramatically.  Sure, I'll have to step over the bodies of financially broken gamblers to enter the store, but at least they'll have contributed toward Making Eggs Affordable Again.

Why does G-d have need of a Copay?

 

Seems to me that trusting your health care coverage to people who bleat "thoughts and prayers"* in response to every tragedy is the very definition of a bad idea.  Actual health care companies are terrible and all, but I'll trust them every day and twice on Sundays before I sign up for MediShare, Christian Health Ministries, or any other scammy non-insurance run by God-Botherers who want your money only slightly more than they want to ban abortion, gender-affirming care and Thinking in general.

*the Sirius XM radio commercial for MediShare actually says that if you call to sign up for coverage, their "community" will "pray with you."  Yeah, thanks but I can probably get people to pray with me WITHOUT paying a monthly premium for the "service."  

This awful, awful Sling ad

 

1.  Every single one of these jackasses who are verbally (and, finally, physically) assaulting the delivery guy subscribed to the paper that they are angrily rejecting in favor of a service that allows them to become fertilizer for whatever bacteria farm is growing on their overused couches.  How about using one of those phones surgically connected to your hand to just cancel those subscriptions and save a few trees instead of yelling at the guy employed to deliver it, you ugly knobs?

2.  Sorry we made you get off that coach, Stupid Fat Loud Lady with Tea.  I'm sure it took a real effort and you don't appreciate going to the door when it isn't to accept your Uber Eats order.  

3.  None of these people are at all interested in what is happening outside their own navels, and you can't convince me otherwise.  They are only outside because it's that time of day where they get to unleash venom on an innocent guy just trying to do a job you asked him to do when you signed up for that subscription.  Seriously, what is the matter with you people?

Walmart Ads bring to mind wise words from a misunderstood man.

 

I am going to assume that the great majority of people who are gushing like lunatics over the recognizable character in these Walmart ads are bots.  Because I have to.  For my own peace of mind.

Still, the message I get from all of these ads is the one Scrooge gives Bob Cratchit at the beginning of A Christmas Carol- that Christmas is an excuse to spend money on things you don't need with money you don't have, and a time to find yourself a year older and not a penny richer.  We can't do anything about  being a day older, but I for one am tired of being told to rescue the American economy every December by overexercising my credit card on junk.  Especially junk from Walmart.

And especially since, right now, a massive Depression that sweeps away the party of the incoming regime would be just fine with me.  I will be fine.  You morons with your credit card debt brought on by the perfect combination of impulse spending and gambling app addiction won't.  Don't say me and my friend Ebenezer didn't warn you.

American Airlines: A mixed (misplaced, delayed) bag

 

Arrived at Patrick Leahy International Airport at about 4 PM yesterday, to find that my bag would be on the 11 PM flight.  That's a fail, as I'm pretty sure that my luggage was supposed to travel with me on the same plane- that's normally how it works, right?  I haven't checked a bag for any flight other than business travel for maybe thirty years, so I'm not sure....

My bag is supposed to be delivered to my address here in Vermont sometime this morning, and I can track it as it approaches, so that's a good thing- American Airlines taking responsibility for it's snafu.  So as long as it shows up and it IS my bag and the contents are intact, it's a forgivable error. 

Meanwhile, maybe you should get things like this fixed before you offer "more" than the basics- like, getting bags put on the same planes as the passengers they belong to?  Maybe?

Lexus December to Remember Sled Dogs Ad: Yeah, Right.

 

1.  No one is taking their Lexus off-road into the snow, because no one is risking getting it dented, scratched or subject to being towed after it gets stuck in a drift.  These cars are purchased to look good in the driveway in front of your Suburban McMansion, period.

2.  No one is letting a pack of dogs into the back of their Lexus.  God knows what those paws have on them- but whatever it is, it isn't contaminating the seats and floor mats of that ridiculous car.  Give us a break, Lexus.